The Way I See It # 457: At The Age Of 20 I......

New Year's Resolutions: Final Copy

1. Learn how to cook. (A pasta dish, chicken, a casserole, a dessert, and meat loaf.)

2. Eat more cupcakes in 2009.

3. Read more books for pleasure.

4. Go out more/have more fun.

5. Always look your best.

6. Realize that you are what you are, and everything you do is all apart of what makes you wonderful. Don't doubt yourself, and focus on feeling empowered every day.


What are your New Year's Resolutions?

The Way I See It # 456

New Blog layout/color for a new year!

I'm twenty years old, and I'm feeling wonderful about it!

The Way I See It # 455

While I'm sticking to my guns.....












I'm happy you called.

The Way I See it # 454

I feel tired.
I feel unmotivated to do anything.
I can't believe I have this week, and then I'm back in Richmond to work.
Will anyone else be in Richmond next week?
My New Year's Eve plans are sad.
I try to occupy my time on the computer, but there is nothing of substance to do. Does anyone have any good book recommendations? I'm about to start working in a book store and I don't even read.

The Way I See It # 453

I haven't blogged in a while on any of my blogs, and for that I apologize. But I kind of doubt any of you have been longing for a post since it's the holidays and time is meant to be spent with family. I've been running around shopping, catching up with friends, and dealing with personal issues. So if you've been disappointed by my "baga-ness" ("Laziness), then I apologize again.

I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I've decided that with the coming New Year, I'm going to try my best to make 2009 the best year of my life. While this idea is hackneyed, and just about everyone in the world has the same thought around this time of year, for once in my life I think it really means something. This past year was so incredibly disappointing, that I am determined to right the wrongs, cross the t's, dot the i's, and really get down to business.

I feel like I want to run away a lot. I don't want to face the realizations I've made recently, and I don't want to deal with the problems that I know will hurt me. Who does? But I've decidedly turned my misfortune into a beneficial life situation. Isn't it always said that from the bottom you can only go up? I don't want to wallow in self pity about how this year went, I feel like I need to push myself to get past all this and move forward.

I was looking back at my posts from last year around this time. (They can be found here) My mood was pretty good on New Years. Even though my birthday had started off on the wrong foot, I generally had a good time, as far as I can tell from my blog post. In fact, I remember sleeping over at Sid's house, I think, because we had been drinking with Trey and Julia. It had been a good night. Some of my resolutions were kept, and others not. For example, I did make more girlfriends, and I feel like I do stick up for myself. However, my nails are still being bitten, and I never learned to cook. Oh well, Better luck in 2009.

I think this may be the best year of my life, and maybe the hardest.

The Way I See It # 452

I hope everyone is enjoying time with family and friends, I know I am!


Merry Christmas!

The Way I See It # 451

I'm watching Steel Magnolias.

I love this movie, I love every character, I love the story, and naturally such a movie makes me cry every time. I can't imagine living through something like that happening to me. I feel like I would just immediately die. I think that I would hope to just immediately die.


I'm not sure if anyone who reads this blog has seen the movie or the play. I definitely recommend it.

The Way I See It # 450

I remember back in high school the words "embrace life" were written, cleaned off, and rewritten in the stairwell near the senior hallway. I always wondered who had written that, and what their life story was.

I "friended" my old drama teacher on facebook today.

I feel like I'm either feeling shitty, or I'm feeling spectacular. I feel like this won't change for a while.

I can't watch romantic comedies without feeling sad.

I'm happy to have Jackie home.

Tonight was the first time in maybe a year that the whole family has sat down and eaten together. (Right? Someone correct me on this if I'm wrong)

I'm scared. Maybe it's good to be.

I had a really weird dream last night. People that read this blog were in it. It was crazy!

I really like caramel sauce on vanilla ice cream.

As much as I wanted it to be winter, I want to go the beach very badly.

The Way I See It # 449

I'm feeling better... ish. I think that these feelings will only improve with time. I'm going out to lunch with my friend Abby so that should be fun. We're heading to a local place where a lot of people we know might congregate. I think I might mention this before we go. I've realized just how much avoiding I do when I'm back in Vienna. Abby is lucky, and remains anonymous most of the time, but in high school a lot of people knew me, and this has carried over so much that I still have people come up to me and say hi. It's nice, most of the time, but I think everyone can agree that there are people from high school that you would rather just ignore. I don't want to seem like I'm bitching about how people come say hi to me, I just don't like seeing people from high school everywhere I go.

The Way I See It # 448

I have actually been having a lot of fun here at home, I've been working and making some serious cash per hour ($14!) and I already have a job lined up for the semester! I'm happy with my grades, and I'm excited for next semester's classes. Things with Dad haven't been bad, and almost everyone is home. I'm turning 20 soon! How ridiculous!


So why do I feel so crappy?
Can I have my cake and eat it too? Does life work like that? I'm scared that it doesn't, because I don't think I can handle only having one side of this situation.

The Way I See It # 447

I've been home from work for a couple hours now. I spent most of my day filing papers so the day kind of dragged. Overall, it beats working at a crazy mall on my feet. Right now, however, I am sitting in my living room watching "Bridge To Terabithia". I read this book when I was younger, and I remember really liking the book. However, this movie is nothing like what I imagined. I'm waiting for the ending so I can cry.

Maybe it's that my eyes are tired from filing all day, or that my contacts are drying up, but I have this insane urge to cry. Not sobbing, and not one of those choking/heavy jobs.... but just crying. I don't know. I should be relaxing, but everytime I have a moment to myself I feel like I should be doing something.

Now the boy in this movie is at a museum. I need to get over to the National Gallery.

I'm heading into DC tomorrow to pick Christina up from the metro


oh gosh, it's the end of the movie.
here I go...

The Way I See It # 446

Goals:

1. Dress more fashionably.
I think this is my goal every year, but it never seems to come around. I think I dress well, but I want to look that much more pulled together. I'm putting a style together for myself, and picking out pieces accordingly... I'm excited. I'm going to try dressing more feminine... not that I haven't been, but the appearance of any kind of skirt has been minimal.

2. Try new things.
I'm going to try and limit my timidness. I need to put myself out there and make more friends. I need to go out more... I think my goal last year was to have more fun, and I did that, but I think I could one up this goal...


more goals to come

The Way I See It # 445

The Way I See It: Pin-up girls should never have gone out of style....

Photo credit- Alberto Vargas

The Way I See It # 444

(Triple digitzzz)

While none of you care, I would like to mention that I had a goal to drop 5 pounds before my birthday. I've already lost 3!


Excitement!

The Way I See It # 443

So last night's cocktail party was really fun! I had a great time, and I got to dress up. I didn't take any pictures.... but I'm sure some will show up on Facebook.

The only really bad part of the night was when this guy asked for my number. I told him that I didn't give out my number, and he threw a fit. I have to admit, he was wasted. But he managed to blurt out some pretty bad names in my direction.

Ohhh well...

The Way I See It # 442

Thought I would love to see Oingo Boingo in concert, that will never happen.

But I can settle for Dead Man's Party.

http://www.myspace.com/deadmansparty

I'm surprised by the vocals!

The Way I See It #441

I'm done! I'm done, I'm done, I'm done!

So glad for it to be over! Tomorrow's plans consist of :
1. taking out my trash/cleaning my apartment
2. PACK live I am basically moving to another country
3. pay January's rent
4. go to a swank cocktail party tomorrow night (what to wear...)


I'm uber excited for #4!!!

The Way I See It # 440

I'm taking a study break for right now. Art history is interesting, but the memorization needed to be a good student is really repetitive.... it can get old really fast.

But for now I'm listening to music and, of course, blogging.

Today I took my Physics final exam, and it was actually fairly easy. Some of the questions I had to spend a little more time on, but for probably 80% of the test I was flying through it. It was a good feeling since I really want an A on that exam. Hopefully it will work out!

Then tonight I had Urban Planning. I officially hate that class. It wasn't what I expected, really, and I think that was why it was disappointing. I didn't expect to be buried under chapters full of Housing Policies and demographic changes in Singapore. The real kicker was that he told us it was an open note exam, but only told us that it had to be "Paper" notes a couple of hours before the exam. I completely freaked because I had taken very detailed notes on my laptop, each chapter having at least 17 pages each. The exam covered 7 Chapters! I was really stressed, but I managed to print them all off and take the exam. It wasn't bad, I have to admit. It could have been a lot worse. I'll be happy if I get a B, really.

I would really like a 4.0 however. That would boost my GPA (obviously) but it also gives me leverage with my Dad. Is that bad? I'm only trying to get great grades because I use it as leverage? Well, I also work because I like learning and such.... it's just that the benefits of a high grade point average are appealing to me.


alright.... back to Giotto.

The Way I See It # 439

I think that I have the possibility of having a 4.0 again.

I'm currently freaking out and putting my ass into gear. I HAVE to get an A on this Physics Final so that I can get an A in the class.

BAAHHH... What I would do for another 4.0!!! ADGIABELAUGABDLKBAKEGADBA

The Way I See It # 438

What I'm Currently Listening To:

The Way I See It # 437

I've spent 10+ hours in the library. I have been here all day and I'm so tired! At least I got everything done, which is what I wanted to do.

Tomorrow I have the study session, then I turn in my Linguistics Assessment.
I'm headed back to Northern VA on Saturday, where I will fall out of the car and kiss the ground.

Can you tell I'm sick of school?

When I get back I plan on doing these things:
1. Going out to dinner with my mom!
2. Going on a Fashion Odyssey
3. Working
4. Doing absolutely nothing
5. Blogging
6. put cute outfits together for winter
7. MORE


In response to Frozenvision's video.... I may be cynical, but I think the tears on that kid were due to his inability to blink.

Am I too cynical?
See for yourself
This Is What You Look Like

Via: Frozen Vision

The Way I See It # 436

I completely forgot how much I love Imogen Heap.

The Way I See It # 435

I'm at the library for the entire day until I:
1. Finish my assessment for tomorrow
2. Make my Art History Slide Show
3. Write notes for Ch. 17 for my open note test
4. go over all Urban Planning notes since the midterm.

The Way I See It # 434

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.


Via: Capucha

The Way I See It # 433

I've been staring at this blog entry page for a while. I'm going to have to agree with Misha about limiting what we write on our blogs due to their personal nature. However, I can't help but wonder how freeing it would be if I was a complete open book. Would I feel better? Would I be embarrassed? Would I be judged? Yes, yes, yes. I told my friend John once that I have another private blog just for personal stuff, and he couldn't understand why I just didn't use a word document for it. I guess I sometimes feel like it's easier to throw out my emotions and feelings to anonymous strangers than I do to people I know personally. Because I hate having my feelings to myself. I don't like the fact that there is no one I can really talk to here at VCU who will just listen without judgment. Wait.... I take that back. Everyone can judge, rather, everyone feels they need to put their two cents in. I just want a sponge. I want someone who I can relay all of my feelings, frustrations, fears, and short comings to, and they won't have the immediate solution for me. I'm not looking for a solution, I'm looking for an ear.

Also, I'm incredibly afraid of gossip. It's when people step beyond putting their two cents in, and decide to tell everyone else what they think about someone else's situation.

all this talk makes me feel very lonely.....

The Way I See It # 432

Linguistics is kicking my ass with this final assessment that has been assigned! I could scream. Also, French is just one more thing to worry about.....


I can't wait for this all to be over!

The Way I See It # 431

Physics Done.
Linguistics Done.
Urban Planning Done.


To do-

Study for French Exam part Deux tomorrow
Assessment with Sarah
Read and take Final notes on CH. 17 for Urban Planning
Group study on Monday Dec. 8 at 1pm second floor Cabell for Physics Final
Make Art History slide show

The Way I See It # 430

Midnight Breakfast at Shafer on Monday.


Anyone up for being trampled?

The Way I See It # 429

I am EXHAUSTED, but today was a good day, and that's what matters. I'm ready to kick my finals in the ass.

I think I will take a nap and then finish studying for my French final tomorrow. I shouldn't have a problem.

It's weird that I've been having my last classes. I feel like I'm going to be in them for another few weeks! Where's the closure?

I am, however, excited to go home and relax. I need to go shopping, hahaha. I really think that it would cheer me up.


I need to figure out my rent situation while I'm at home.... especially if the mail doesn't work.
I guess I'll be going back soon after the new year anyway....

The Way I See It # 428

Alright. I'm a pretty patient person. Anyone who knows me knows this. I'll deal with just about anything, but this is too much.

It is one thing for you to decide that your major is not for you. That's fine, everyone has trouble finding a major. It's a completely different thing to discredit my education, and my major of choice. While I can deal with your griping about classes, and how your interests aren't being met, I won't tolerate you calling my interests worthless, stupid, and not worthy of your time. I don't appreciate it when you call Anthropology a worthless major at VCU. I certainly don't appreciate it that you say a degree from VCU is not as respected as one from another school. You could technically say that about any school in the country. Besides, if you really felt that way you'd be transferring, or you would have applied and gone to another school in Virginia.

Please, don't talk to me again about it. Just follow your instincts and move into another major.

The Way I See It # 428

I wish that I had a craft that I was really good at so that I could blog about it. A lot of people scoff when they tell me that they despise the idea of "personal" blogs, and that they much prefer blogs about a certain subject, whether it be fashion, politics, comic books, cooking, knitting, whatever.
I would say that I agree. When it comes to the types of blogs that I read, I'm far more interested in topics about things I'm unfamiliar with, or am obsessed with, rather than reading about someone's personal life. Not that I don't like reading personal blogs; I love them. But I would say a majority of the new blogs I start reading are about a certain subject unrelated to the personal life of the author.

On that note, thank you for reading!

While I do have a blog about fashion and design in general, it's unlike most other fashion blogs I've become a fan of. Mostly because the fashion blogs I read include pictures of the authors, and they clothes they have. I for one, have no money to spend on clothing, and have used this as an excuse not to look cute and fashionable in my day-to-day. This will simply have to change. I can't hide behind a monetary excuse for the way I look when it's fairly easy to look stylish on the dime. So I will be putting my outfits together and taking pictures. I think that this will also help with me finding out exactly what my style is, because, really, I have no idea what it is at this point. If you'd like to see the pictures, or if you're unaware of my fashion (ish) blog, don't hesitate to visit here.

Just a quick update, I've added a language translator to the page. I've decided that it might be beneficial for my French if I have my blog translated into it so I can read aloud and feel proficient. If you happen to speak another language (or several) you can get practice AND keep up with my life. (I've also added it to Interior Motive). You can thank me when we carry on a conversation in french. :)

Speaking of readers, I've noticed some new readers (because I'm creepy and sitemeter allows me to do this). Welcome!

Shifting gears, I've been at the library all night studying for my Physics exam next week. I decided to get some Starbucks. By the way, I find it appalling that there are no late-night coffee shops except for the Village and 3rd Street Diner (a long ass walk). At any rate, I was standing in line, and a guy behind me told the barista his order. He said,
"Yeah, I'll have a coffee....erm... the largest size you have.... and also... another largest size... and... do you guys do iced coffee?"
The barista took his order, and I turned to him,
Me: "It's called a Venti"
Him: "What?"
Me: "The largest size, it's a 'Venti'"
Him: "Oh, thank you!"
Me: "Have you never been to a Starbucks before?"
Him: "ermm... no."
Me: "Wow! Rare breed!"
Him: "Yeah, well I'm cramming, so....and it's my parents money... they can afford it...."
Me: "Well, then why not?"

It was refreshing to see someone who had never been to a Starbucks. It made my day, actually.

The Way I See It # 427

While I've always wanted to do anthropology, i understand my friend Sarah's concern. The anthro department at vcu isn't exactly leading me to conclude that this is what i want to do with my life. but i think that if i decide to double major that would make things better. I want to work in a museum, be a director or a curator, and i would probably need an Art history degree to do so. so I'm seriously considering double majoring, if not majoring, and then minoring in Anth. I'm ahead, hwoever, and i think that it would be okay to double up.


I've also decided that i feel very 'blah' right now. i think i need yet another make over...

The Way I See It # 426

Why the hate on Australia?

maybe the use of "Amazing" was too strong.


whateverrr.

I'm geekin' out over my Final lab project in physics.
I have had an eye twitch since the weekend started, and it's getting furious.
I have so much to do.
I decorated my apartment for the holiday season! (+5 experience points)
I'm cautious.
As much as I liked being home, I'm glad to be back in Richmond.
Tomorrow starts and insane week

The Way I See It # 426

Hugh Jackman, you are the love of my life.

Australia was amazing! Go see it!

The Way I See It # 425

Secret # 1: I never asked anyone for a ride back to VCU (not that anyone offered) because I thought it would be nice for Mom and I to have time in the car together.

Tonight she asked me why I couldn't get a ride back and I fumbled with an answer. I think she was a bit annoyed that she had to drive me back. She wasn't unwilling, but I think driving me back wasn't at the top of her to-do list for tomorrow.
Am I selfish? I know she's tired, and I know she works a lot. She worked all weekend on preparing for Thanksgiving, put up with Dad, dealt with Grandma, and all of us.

I wish things were like they were when Mom wasn't working.
I think I might be bitter about this.

I've decided to not work at Restoration Hardware this winter. I didn't realize that Jackie would be home without a car... and if Christina and Kara get jobs too, it's going to be a nightmare.
So instead, I'll be working for my Dad's company.
I think I might regret this. However, he says there is research he needs done, and also filing, so I'm down for doing secretarial work if it keeps me the hell away from Tysons. I would like to enjoy shopping on my winter break, thank you very much.

The Way I See it # 424

Don't shake your finger at me!

I love everything about the Holiday Season.

The Way I See It # 423

I've been laying on my stomach, resting myself up on my elbows for the last hour and a half.

my entire upper body is stiff...

dammit.

The Way I See It #423

I'm trying out a new look. I'm not sure if I'm sold on it. I do like the smashed coffee, though. It reminds me of the dreams I often have about food.... or whatever.

Am I weird?

I may find this too dark tomorrow.

I'm decorating the house for Christmas with my family tomorrow! I'm excited! We normally don't decorate this early, but we're never home, so it makes sense. :)

The Way I See It # 422

Being home is nice. Grandma Geri is here, and things are going better than I had expected. She talks about Grandpa a lot, but I expected that, and it's not awkward like I thought it would be. I actually enjoy hearing her talk about their relationship and how they met.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, that should be fun...
Generally speaking, Being home just isn't the same anymore. Maybe because I live alone, Maybe because Mom works a lot now, maybe because my relationship with Dad is becoming even more strained.... sometimes I just don't enjoy being home.

However, Christina, Mom, and I talked with Jackie over Gmail's chitchat, and that was hilarious. I wish she could be here, but Law School is more important, so it's whatever.

We all talked tonight, and afterward I felt good about where I am in life. I feel like I'm in a good place. Things are good.

currently listening to: Dada Yakuza

The Way I See It # 421

"And I thought you were the moon in the sky,
but it turned out you were just a street light,
you were burning like a hole in the night."
- Chad VanGaalen, City Of Electric Light

I think la belleza is slowly but surely reappearing in my life. The semester is about to end, I'm going home for Thanksgiving tomorrow, and I think my finals are going to be alright. I really need to start studying, and while I don't think it's possible to regain my 4.0 status, I'm okay with it. My biggest challenge will be getting into the classes I want before the new semester starts and deciding whether or not I want to apply for that internship this summer. if not, I can always volunteer, right?

I'm feeling "deja vu" from around a year ago, and it's pretty damn wonderful.



note to self: buy envelopes when back in NOVA

The Way I See It # 421

So I just realized how daunting my French final is going to be. I think that if I successfully review with the study worksheet I'll be okay. I really want to get an A on it, because I'd like to think that I can one day become fluent in French. Maybe one day I'll move to France and cut out the expensive French courses all together. However, until that day comes It's French up to the ears until I get out of undergraduate study.... I guess.

So I'm completely perturbed about my wallet situation. It was either lost (although I don't understand how I could have lost it) or stolen out of my purse. Now I have a lot of work to do with that, plus my physics final project, Thanksgiving, finals, and whatever the fuck. Good thing I don't keep my student ID in my wallet because I would have no money and no way to eat. (phew!)

I hope no one decides to use my SS # and ruin my credit....
because that would probably ruin my life.

The Way I See It # 420

I lost my wallet.

or rather, my wallet was stolen.


ugh. Just what I need on a busy Sunday and right before Thanksgiving.

The Way I See It # 419

Fuck.
I have so much work to do:
1. Go to Lowes and buy weights for physics lab
2. Read chapter 7 in "Ways With Words" for the group project in Linguistics
3. Write up paragraph on the picture for french group project
4. Study for French exam
5. Get lab space on Monday and Tuesday and FINISH physics final project
6. power point-it-up over Thanksgiving
7. keep checking on Witchraft class to register.... if not.... whatever.
8. Talk with mom over decision about Internship this summer.
9. Wait for Mac people to email me about an interview.

The Way I See It # 418

I don't think I've ever really meant it when I say "It's as cold as a bitch outside". But now I understand what this phrase really means. I walked from Kroger back to my apartment and my hands were completely raw. They still hurt. It's gloves for the rest of the season!

Going to kroger was awesome. As much as the walk back sucked, I feel better when I have groceries. Also, I like grocery shopping for some reason.

But I'm back in my apartment, cleaning up, and getting cozy. I'm heading to Shafer soon, which is awesome because I basically haven't eaten all day.

I woke up late, around 12, and then headed over to Sarah's at 1:30 to help her write up her paper. Then the whole Kroger thing happened, then the whole frozen hands thing happened..... and I'm back here.

The Way I See It # 417

"Take My Body
Put It In A Boat
Light It On Fire
You Can Use The Kerosene
Take My Body
Put It In A Boat
Light It On Fire
Send It Out To Sea"
-"Willow Tree" by Chad VanGaalen

Tonight The Commons is having a celebrationg for it's
Winter Lighting, and we're going to have Ice Skating!
I'm really excited, only the rink looks so small!
Maybe I will take some pictures?

I had my final lab in Physics today, I'm excited.
However, my partner wasn't there! I may never
see him again. He was nice. Dear Lab Partner:
You were really cool to work with. Perhaps I'll
run into you on campus and say hello n an awk-
ward fashion? If so, that would be nice. Until
then, enjoy your life. :)

I need a way to get home
for Thanksgiving. Is Any-
one going home by car?
Train tickets are expensive
and going fast! I can't wait
to go home.

The Way I See It # 416: Can't Keep Me Down

I found a 4-split split end in my hair today.

Correction: I found 2.

Note to self: Get a trim over Thanksgiving.

I feel good, besides the fact that I didn't take notes on 2 chapters of Urban Planning. I really don't care anymore. I'm going tonight, but it will be a nice evening of blogging and picture collecting. I feel so bad talking about this class and how I waste my time. I should focus, but when my teacher marks me down a whole point just because I used contractions in an informal paper.... I get upset. And when I get upset, I do my minimal and don't worry about it.

I've decided to collect old Christmas decorations over thanksgiving and decorate my apartment. I think it would be really awesome. If I could somehow get my hands on a really small tree then I could decorate it and invite people over for eggnog.

Ok, so I realized that I fantasize a lot about apartment life, the holidays, and apparently home decoration. Should I fix this? I don't think it matters.

I like puzzle pieces. I recently found one that had been missing for a while. Now the puzzle is complete! It's awesome, and I think I'll keep the puzzle around for a while. :)


"Does It Hurt?
ooh, doesn't really matter
Does It Burn?
Oh no... don't feel a thing
Does It Sting?
Oh yeah, really doesn't matter
Does it Hurt?
Oh... Don't give a damn
When I find myself falling and I hit the bottom, it only makes me laugh."

The Way I See It # 415

"If you were in a burning house, and there was a cat and a Rembrandt, what would you save? The cat... you would save the cat, because the cat is alive. Art is dead. It's just paint on canvas, ink on a page. To live for art is to deny life. It's just to destroy life."

- Diane Frolov/Andrew Schneider

Debatable?
Discuss.

The Way I See It #414

I don't like drinking.

I have a headache.

My stomach hurts.

I'm not drunk.

but Williamsburg is fun! I'm enjoying it for the moment, and am waiting for Chanello's.

The Way I See It # 413

Alright, so I know for certain that about 30 people read this blog a day.

So I'm going to ask a question, and I better get some answers:


A house is on fire. Inside it are a cat and a Rembrandt. Which do you save?



(for those who don't know, Rembrandt is a famous artist, and his pieces are called as such.)

The Way I See It # 412

I normally don't eat this early.
And because I just finished with Shafer I'm feeling particularly nauseous, but I think the feeling will pass. I don't have French today, so this morning is dedicated to my linguistics assessment that needs to be finished before I catch a train to Williamsburg later tonight. I don't have too much work to focus on, which is good considering I plan on having a lot of fun this weekend.

As for last night I spent the night at Sarah's place. I'm glad I could be there for her. She broke her collar bone in a collapsing deck incident (you've probably heard of it: Last weekend on Cary there was a party where the second story deck just collapsed under the weight of everyone. About 20 people were sent to the hospital. Sarah broke her Collar bone, and her roommate Emma broke her back. More were injured just the same.) So, as her collar bone is broken, and she's nearly incapacitated. I helped her get out of bed this morning, I put her hair up, I opened bottles for her, I tied her shoes.

It's weird, I was always told as a kid that if someone every grabbed me, or tried to attack me, I should go for the collar bone. It only takes seven pounds of pressure to break it, and it makes your attacker immobile. Now I can fully appreciate what this looks like, I guess.

I'm also going to be helping Sarah out with typing up her papers (she's in English 200), and while her mother offered me payment, I'm going to refuse it. They already bought me a $10 starbucks gift card, and that's more than enough.

Luckily, Sarah's boyfriend is coming up early to visit and take care of her. He was also at the party but only suffered a hurt ankle.

Anyway, I should get back to my assessment.

The Way I See It # 411

Two exams down and I'm feeling good. Really good. I'm also listening to good music ("Lolita" by Throw Me The Statue). What else is good? Check out the bottom of the page and you'll see that there have been over 1000 visits to this little blog within the last month. Wow! Um, thanks for reading?

So what do I have to do? Last week my professor in Urban Planning cancelled class last minute and decided to assign us 2 chapters to be tested on tomorrow. Ugh. I hate that class. I never really hate classes, but really hate this one. I now have to write notes for two chapters and then take a quiz by tomorrow night. Whatever. I guess it's another long night.

I've started writing again and I'll be submitting to the Commonwealth Times. Sweet! Look for my next article, wouldja?

The Way I See It # 410

My Mom WOULD set me straight. Thank god I have her. She basically told me that I'm too dramatic and am COMPLETELY over reacting.

YES.

I LOVE HER.

IGNORE MY LAST POST! :)

The Way I See It # 409

So much for that sense of power I was feeling. I think I might have abused it, and I'm feeling miserable. I feel.....terrible. I don't know what to do. I feel.....feeble... and I....don't....know... what to do. I don't know what to do. All I need is time, but time is hurtful, I think. I don't know if Time will solve everything. I don't know if I'll end up where I should be. I am afraid of failing, and I'm terrified of making a huge mistake. I feel as though I've already made one. I'm trying to fix it, I'm trying not to bruise egos and hurt feelings, but I feel like I'm doing it all the same. I don't want to be the kind of person that does it.... at least I'm conscious of its existence, right? At least I know I'm being unfair, and now I can do things to fix it? Do I get any credit for that?

I feel like I should be locked in a room left only to myself to find the answers. Finding them elsewhere doesn't seem to be working.

All I have to keep me company are these fruit flies that I absolutely despise.

I let my guard down. Obviously. I feel embarrassed and..... not ashamed.... but I feel as though I'm being judged, and no one knows the whole story. All I have is my reputation, and because I was impulsive, I'm at risk of ruining it (in at least someone's eyes). How did I let this happen? Where did my judgment go? My good intuition?

I hope I still have it.
I hope I'm making everything right.

The Way I See It # 407

So I wasn't feeling well today and I decided to take a nap this afternoon to sleep it off. I just woke up. Was I lazy, or is this a sign that I greatly needed sleep? I'm not sure.

However nice the sleeping was, I was unsettled by the dreams I had. Normally I'm not one to be really keen on violence, but lately my dreams have been incredibly violent, and in the dream I don't really care. I actually take part in the violence personally, and while things are happening, it's as though I can't feel the pain of what I'm being subjected to, and what I'm doing/experiencing. It's really strange. And the violence is ridiculous. It's not bombs, or guns.... people are using swords and sharp things to cut everyone else up. They're CUTTING people in half! People are getting slash, I'm being slashed, and yet I remain whole and pain-free. It's ridiculous.

From Dream Moods:
"Killing
To dream that you killed someone, forewarns that heavy stress may cause you to lose your temper and self-control. Identity the characteristics of the person that you have killed and ask yourself if you feel any rage towards this person in your waking life. You may be expressing some rage or hatred toward this person.

To dream that you have been killed, suggests that your actions are disconnected from your emotions.

This dream may also represent a part of you or your life that you wish would leave you alone and stop creating a nuisance. Killing may represent the killing off of old parts of yourself and old habits."

"Murder
To dream that you have committed a murder, indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and your former ways of thinking."

The Way I See It # 406

I forgot how awesome Oingo Boingo Is.


I can't believe I forgot about them!

Share The Love:
Elevator Man
Violent Love
Winning Side

The Way I See It # 405

I feel compelled to write.
But I'm not going to write about the election, or those Polly pessimists, or the fact that a lot of people don't even know Obama's policies... or that I've just experienced a life-changing historical moment, or anything like that. I feel as though there isn't much to say that hasn't already been said.

But like I said, I have this itching in my finger tips to make a connection with my key board, and where else am I going to satisfy the urge? I'm left with an empty night due to the fact that my Urban Planning Professor canceled class 15 minutes prior.... so I'm at commons trying to keep myself occupied until I get hungry or decide to walk home in the drizzle.

A couple entries ago I noted the fact that I feel like I am in a powerful position, and I'm determined to keep my life following this track. I sometimes feel invincible, and I don't want it to end. I think I've finally realized that I have the "ball in my court" so to speak, and the world is my oyster. Really, nothing can go wrong. It's almost as if just as this country is on the brink of change, so am I. I would like to think in a romantic sense that my life is in tandem with the state of the world.... ripe for change.... eager for new experiences... but I fear this may be jumping the gun (something I'm always afraid of doing.)

I feel as thought flats make my feet look dainty.
Is this weird?
I'm staring at my feet, and I've noticed that I particularly like the way they look in skimmers, such as the ones I am wearing.

OH.
Before I headed over to Urban Planning, I was attending a lecture on Paleopathology (The study of disease in ancient times) and Peruvian Mummies. Really interesting stuff, but it was entirely too biological. However, as I have finally (FINALLY!) declared my major as Anthropology, I can get started on my World Studies Passport, which is this little doo-hicky that I need to have completed before I graduate. I essentially have to go to lectures and seminars and learn things that are really cool, and then have proof that I went and had a rockin' time.

hmmm....
maybe I should eat before it gets too late.
I was talking to Sarah Waks today and we both agreed that it feels incredibly depressing and lonely to realize that you don't have anyone to go to shafer with. Isn't that the saddest? While I fully appreciate flying solo at Shafer during the day, there's just something about when night falls that makes me want to feel...... interactive with other people. I just shudder at the thought of eating alone at night. I mean, I experience this at home when I eat there, but somehow at Shafer it is different. Probably because I'm not eating left-overs while laying in bed watching The Girls Next Door.

I think Shafer should install beds.

Wait... No. I take that back.
---------

I applied for a YAAB! A YAAB! (job).
I'm trying to be an Apple Campus Representative at VCU.
Here's why:
1. It's awesome.
2. It pays well
3. I can get a free mac book out of the deal
4. I get more experience in sales! :)

I think I have it in the bag, which is good because this means that if I get the job.... I might not have to work at Tysons over winter break, and that's oh-so appealing to me right now. Resto. I love you to pieces, but I'm scared that all the people I worked with won't be back (they would be insane to be there...), and that I'll kill myself with the winter crowd. Summer I may return.... but then again the Mac position is a full year job....so.... mabes not! :D

Having a job over next semester will be good too because I can actually amass money to start a savings account. All my talk of getting into the market (well... that's pretty much gone now) and I don't even have the safest form of investment!

ALSO:

More money would mean that I would have a surplus, which is good because I really want to move in to the apartment next to mine. The girl that lives there is a senior, and I met her last night. She's awesome. And her apartment is a dream. A REAL DREAM. I can't believe how nice it is. The only problems with it are noise from the garbage guys in the morning, and the bartender who lives behind her.

With the extra money I'd cough up the difference in rent ($875) to live there. So I'd pay 225 a month.... hmmmm...

At least I'd be able to entertain!
Maybe I'll just ask my landlord for a new stove?

The Way I See It # 404

Barack Obama is our 44th President.

This is great. Not only because my party is now in the White House once again, but because I think that either McCain or Obama would have brought about significant Change, and that's what we need.

I'm excited by the cheering in the streets, and the honking of horns that I can hear through my glassy windows, and I feel enlivened. This is the start of something new.

And I contributed to it. I did something for my country, and it feels good.

It feels so good.

And this is good for breaking the mold..... We finally have a Minority President Elect!

The Way I See It # 403: It's Alright

I am bubbling with anticipation, and I haven't felt like this in a while. I feel powerful, overwhelmed with the power of my own being, my own devices can get me places, and I truly believe I can make the world a better place. I've been sitting on that thought for a while, and finally I am ready to accept it, and make it a reality. It feels so good to know I will soon be taking part in a piece of life that few know and that many will be touched by. I can become better, faster, stronger, more productive. I can't sleep, I am so excited for the plans I have made.

The last couple weeks have made realizations known to me, and formerly I would have scoffed, given in to submission and gone along with it, conforming to an idea that I don't believe in. but I am stronger now, and will happily step in the other direction. This gives me joy, this gives me power, a power that I didn't know I could attain before. While I am an equal, I am on another level. I wouldn't call it enlightenment, but I would call it something close to that. I realize that I am no longer to be swayed by the currents we all face, and What I would have normally let manipulate me and turn me into something else, I'm reflecting the shock, and instead I hope to reverberate to my peers, to my friends, and to strangers the goodness in standing up for what you believe in, what you choose to let pass you by, and what you choose to hold on to.

I'm letting go of what I once was, and I'm becoming something new.
I've finally realized the secret.... and it's only a matter of time before I let you in on it.

My imagination is blinding, my insight is steady, and my mind is clear.
I have arrived.

The Way I See It # 402

Daylight Savings is here again. I was thankful for the extra hour of sleep, and it was comforting to lay in bed knowing that I really wasn't being as lazy as usual. But a thought, spurred on by another blogging site I now frequent, came to mind. Now that the days are shorter, how are going to deal with the nights being longer?

Here are some ideas:
1. Make it a point to get wasted every night. This is obviously what I'll be doing alone in my apartment
2. pick up a hobby. I personally am going to buy a 2000 piece puzzle and "git er done"
3. buy a pet. Ignore it after a week and return it.
4. hit up Cabell Library, where the drinks are always a-flowin', and the knowledge is always a-spreadin'.
5. clean out your ungodly mess of an iTunes library. (You KNOW this applies to you.)
6. Ask your professors for lots of homework
7. Hit up Craigslist's personals and get cozy with a sex-deprived professor. (no joke...)
8. Rather, instead of #7, hit up Craigslist's Missed Connections section. It's a hit. No sarcasm here.
9. Eat dinner earlier...?
10. Lastly, blog a lot. And I mean A LOT. Because the number one thing I'll be doing to pass the time is read all of your blogs that I read.

The Way I See It # 401

From The Dork At Heart,

Happy Halloween!

The Way I See It #400

I'd like to think that this Missed Connection is about me, even if I know it isn't.


http://richmond.craigslist.org/mis/898734255.html

The Way I See It # 399

I'm up at 6:30 in the morning because I've agreed to accompany a friend to 7 AM Yoga.
I'm not concerned about the Yoga, but I concerned about making the trek across two blocks down Harrison.


I wonder what crazies I'll run into..


I'll be manning my pepper spray.

The Way I See It # 398

My GOD Urban planning, you are ruining my life!

I've been in the library all morning, it is now 2 0' clock, and I'm not even done with this chapter! I'll have to resume my studies after Linguistics. I am famished, and will venture out into the cold to find food.


Winter is coming.

The Way I See It # 397

An Urban Observation:


When someone asks me where I live they are usually very surprised. My usual answer is “The 900 block of W. Franklin St.” Their surprise is not rooted in the safety or general “word on the street” about W. Franklin St, as it’s actually a safe and welcoming block, but instead it is rooted in the fact that most wouldn’t peg the 900 block as a residential street. Virginia Commonwealth University has purchased most of the old Victorian real estate on W. Franklin and turned the charming town houses into administrative buildings for the University. The President’s House is on my block, which I like to think gives my own address some sort of regality (even if it doesn’t), and my very own address is across from the Wilder School of Political Science and two doors down from the Buford House (Art History). This juxtaposition of the few residences that have invaded the block and the University buildings creates an aura of collegiate academia—one that I am happy to live amongst.
It’s 4:00 PM on the 900 block, and due to the blistery cold weather, not many people are outside. On a sunny day people can be seen strolling down the sidewalk under the line of trees. Many people walk their dogs toward the dog park up N. Harrison, and more so are there students walking to class. W. Franklin is one of the few side streets of the VCU campus among which students frequently utilize to get to class. But for right now, there aren’t many people about (reasons for this include the weather, and perhaps for the lateness in the day), and the street is predominantly empty.
At one end of the 900 block runs Shafer St., and on its corner is the Chesterfield apartment building, which holds a wonderful restaurant, Cous Cous, and also one of two VCU bookstores. Now it is apparent that the 900 Block of W. Franklin has bee utilized by different types of building zones: restaurant, retailer, administrative buildings, and actual residences. All of these different zones provide an inviting feeling when one steps onto the block, and it feels almost as though you have everything you really need at an arm’s reach.
Perhaps what is more responsible for the inviting feeling one gets from living and walking here is the Victorian charm of the architecture that is prevalent on W. Franklin St. I myself live in the downstairs parlor of one of the Victorian homes that nestles up to W. Franklin and it’s odd to think that at one time whole families rather than apartment dwellers such as myself used these homes. In fact, this very Victorian architecture that is seen on W. Franklin is one of the many things that draws VCU students to attend the University. The charm of these large, elaborately decorated homes adds a sense of sophistication and wonder to those who live and work here.
As for neighborly interaction, normally when it’s cold outside I don’t see much of anyone. However, when the weather is warm, it is not unusual to see a gaggle of people on every stoop down the block, talking academics, “I don’t understand why my students in Art history 103 aren’t getting the concept of the Golden Rule!” (at Buford House), or talking about anything in general. The neighbors are jovial and in good spirits when the weather is up, and it’s just as common to see people from the street join in their conversation, and even make their way up onto the stoops. However, due to this cold, windy, weather, most people are walking fast and trying to get home or to class. All kinds of people interact on W. Franklin, whether it be professors heading to office hours, bike kids making their way across town, VCU students, workmen working on restoring the buildings, or just regular inhabitants of the block, everyone and everything seems to mesh together quite nicely. I personally couldn’t imagine a better place to work or live.

The Way I See It # 396

I scheduled my advising appointment at the School of World studies this morning for next Tuesday (SLAP ME IN THE FACE I HAVE TO VOTE THAT DAY). I'm excited to finally/officially choose my major as Anthropology, and probably my minor as Art History. This is exciting. I also realized that I am ridiculously ahead in school, and that this can pose as a fork in the road. Presumably I can graduate in the winter of my senior year, thus shaving a semester off of my "Four Year Plan". What do I do? Do I go ahead and get out of school and save a semester's worth of tuition? I'm thinking now that I could work and go to school part time if I space out my senior year just right. I feel a pressing need to earn money for Graduate school, since it's now becoming a necessity instead of a nice thought. Anthropology majors don't get anywhere without higher learning, and this includes even the elusive PhD.

So I'm a sophomore in college (Technically a Junior next semester) and I'm already laying down a five year (even more) plan. I never thought I was that kind of person, but it's become painfully evident that I am, and that I'll spending a majority of my life.... well... my young life, in Academia. Am I upset by this? Not really, I love learning, and I love being busy with work. So this is good.

So here I am jumping the gun wondering where I want to go to Graduate school. I looked at Museum studies (if that's the direction I want to go in) at GW, and that looked promising, but fuck, I don't have the money for that. I need to stay close to hime if I want to save some money with instate tuition. Obviously there's a good possibility for UVA. Although I am bitter that I didn't get in the first time (meh), maybe another go around would land me in Charlottesville. But do I want to be in Charlottesville? I think I would prefer to stay in the city, and I'm thinking Washington DC is possibly the place for me. While not "In state" it's definitely close and has the Smithsonian Institution close at hand.


What am I doing? I need to focus on my Urban Planning class. This is completely out of the way, I have 2-ish more years to think about this.

The Way I See It # 395

I'm stuck between a shower and a barrel of trail mix. I'm about to drop the M&M's and head for cleaner living. I always feel better after a shower.

This weekend sucked pretty badly. Here's why:

1. I didn't go out, although I'm not sure it would have made a difference
2. I live alone
3. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to my love life
4. Fucking school is breathing down my neck
5. Some friends are flakes
6. I eat too much trail mix
7. My internet blows
8. I find myself jealous of Sarah and her boyfriend
9. Donde esta la belleza?

The Way I See It # 394

I am entirely too frightened to look at my midterm grade for Urban planning. This is what wishing for harder classes gets you.... fucked up the ass. I'll have to change the way I approach that class, and this means more labor, more hours, and more tedious studying on my part. Hopefully I knock the final out, blow away my teacher with my Urban observation, and generally make up for what a clusterfuck this test was. I hope Scudder (yeah, that's my Prof.'s name!) isn't ashamed of me.

But at least it's over my head and I can for the moment breath.

I saw Misha last night and we talked (holla atcha' guuurrrll!) which was awesome!

I took my French midterm this morning and I think I did really well! At least that class is going the way it should be.

My friend Russell that I worked with at Resto. was supposed to come up this weekend for the Highland festival, but sadly won't be able to make it. Bummerrrr,

I don't know what I'm going to do now.... I guess enjoy the rest of the night. :)

The Way I See It # 393

Girl what you do what you do what you do what you do is amazing!
You got me watchin' you girl what you do is amazing!
Do what you do what you do is amazing!
You are the truth
The truth hurts


So I'm pissed about my Urban Planning Midterm. What's wrong with paper tests? I know all of you "green" people give a shit, but honestly.... at least this technology isn't dependable, obviously!

I'm just mad because when I checked back to see if I could get into the test, I was able to, but I was already past the 3 hour time limit (and my teacher knocks off a point for every minute you go over!).

Let's all let out a long guttural moan.


But other than that all I have to worry about is my French midterm tomorrow, and then my week will be over. Thank goodness. This has been really rough!

The Way I See it # 392

I hate blackboard!

UGH.

I got locked out of my 3 hour Urban Planning Midterm!

HOW ANNOYING.

The Way I See It # 391

YES.


YES YES YES.


I bought the LG Vu for $50!


YES.

The Way I See It # 390

I'm sitting here in the library, about to start my physics experiment outline, and I cannot help but eavesdrop on the two research assistants at the Library desk in the middle of Cabell. One of them apparently feels bad about the way he handled a phone call while working with someone, and the other is giving him a pep talk about it. It's weird/interesting to listen to.



Back to work.

The Way I See It # 389

Ice cream makes me happy, so why shouldn't I eat it?


Ben and Jerry's Half Baked is delicious. And great on a radiator-induced hot evening of studying.

The Way I See It # 388

I'm so conflicted about which phone to buy.

I want the LG Vu, but it is more than my reasonable budget.... but I love this phone.

I basically won't be happy with any other phone. Should I splurge?
I can buy a refurbished phone online for $100. But then again it's a used phone.

I could get the LG Shine, but I don't think I want to spend money on something I don't want...


ARGG
MATERIALISM AT IT'S BEST!

The Way I See It # 387

Sometimes I just want my shower to burn. Does anyone else ever get that feeling? Sometimes the water just doesn't get hot enough.

Sometimes I intentionally pull the covers off and wait until I'm shivering to get back under them.

I set myself up for warmth. I must be cold-blooded.


Sometimes I enjoy silence and being alone.
Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I feel like extra pillows give me emotional support, not just physical support.


What am I doing?

The Way I See It # 386

So being at Starbucks and finishing my drink, and thinking about tattoos, has led me to stumble up this horrible image.

The Question isn't "Why So Serious?"
Rather it is "Are You Serious??"

The Way I See It # 385

sI'm visiting my local starbucks (Oakton style) and I ran into my drumming instructor Chris. No longer is it awkward between us when we see each other, but he was disappointed to find out that I sold my drum set. Oh well, he knows it was practical for me to sell it. All is well between us, and he even invited me and my friends to a gig on Saturday night, which is really cool of him. It's in Old Towne Alexandria, but I doubt anyone will want to go with me. Another time perhaps.

Why is it that everyone is staring at me? The Business man sitting behind me was staring into my Photobooth back at me and it creeped me out. There is an adorable little girl who stared at me, and her mother was staring at me until we made eye contact. There's a girl doing math homework who occasionally looks over, and everyone standing in line has looked my way for more than 30 seconds each. Maybe I'm just interesting looking? Maybe it's the glasses? The Macbook? The iced caramel Macchiato? What about me makes me so different? That I am the only member of my demographic in the room?

You'd think someone such as myself who finds it odd that people are staring would leave. Maybe I like the attention.

The Way I See It # 384

I have a feeling that I have been bred to be the way I am.

Obviously.

Learning is a cultural aspect, and while my parents obviously had a hand in raising me that way they did, I never thought that parents could teach their children differently, perhaps based on the language they speak. I learned through, supposedly, pointing out objects and reading off their names. My learning process as a child was entirely object/noun based, and thus when it comes to picking out something, and observing, I tend to observe focal objects much more readily than my surrounding environment. I wish this wasn't the case. I think it is more useful to think of things in relationships to others. In Chinese, this is how children are taught to learn. Parents speaking chinese will teach their children objects through relations, rather than simply naming objects. So their learning patterns are verb-based, rather than noun based.

Do you think that by growing up here, learning the way I have gives me an entirely biased view of the world? Why didn't it occur to me to see the whole picture, rather than parts of it that I wanted to see? Has my whole perception been skewed? I guess someone who learned in Chinese could say the same thing. It just makes us different.

However, In my linguistics class I took a test to test my perspective and I scored dramatically in the "Eastern Sense", meaning, that the objects I chose matched with answers that Asians rather than Westerners. Does this make my perception Asian? No.... because in the study about 60% of Westerns thought in the western sense.... so I guess I'm just in the "weird" 40%.

The more and more I think about language, culture, and cognition, the more fascinated I am. It makes me wonder how much learning and "nurturing" really play a role in shaping a person. Obviously it's a big role.... but what if we're all hardwired to think in a certain way?

Some argue that Children cannot possibly learn language on their own at such a young age, and that they have an internal cognitive mechanism that is a road map for language. Do you agree with this?

The Way I See It # 383

The more and more I think about it, the more and more I'm leaning towards getting a tattoo.

But I don't want my mom to die, so I'm going to take her advice and get something fake, and live with it for a year.

What I need:
carbon paper, tracing paper and speed stick or old spice deodorant- the solid clear kind

Procedure:
put the tracing paper on bottom, carbon paper in the middle, your design on top

trace out your design- the image will be copied in blue carbon on to the tracing paper

cut out the design- leave about 1/4 to 1/2 inch around the image

shave the area you want to put the tattoo on-

put on a few swipes of deodorant to adhere the outline

place the outline carbon side down

press lightly and wait a few seconds

remove transfer

Then I would go over the design with permanent ink, (I've found that liquid eyeliner actually stays on for a long time, but I might look into other permanent inks that are safe for skin).


What I'm having trouble with is coming up with a design that is meaningful to me, and that looks aesthetically pleasing.

The Way I See It # 382

I've been listening to some fresh beats, lately, and it's helping my mood.
I tanked an urban planning test.
I'm tired, and still at the library.
I need to get my Halloween costume together.
I need break to start.
BLAGH




UGH. My back hurts, and my foot looks suspect right now....

The Way I See It # 381

Benny Goodman, I missed you so much.



I need breathing room.



but for this moment, I am content.

THe Way I See It # 380

The Internet at VCU isn't working for some reason, but it is working at starbucks. So I've been forced to come inside during the beautiful weather. I don't think I'll linger here after I've finished up my French lab work. Things over the last couple days have been hectic and weird. I have a lot of work coming up for my classes, and it's looming over my head. For example, this Linguistics assessment is worrying me. I think it will be fine, but I'm not sure I'm completely grasping what we're learning, and so I am worried. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I probably won't be getting straight A's this semester due to Physics which for being such an "easy" class, is rather difficult to do as well as I want to. Science just isn't my thing I guess.

I went to Harrison St. Coffee Shop with John, and that place is awesome. I don't think I had ever been to a real coffee shop before, and their Vanilla Chai was pretty darn good to boot. I'll definitely be going back. I would reccomend that you go check it out!

I don't know what I'm doing tonight. I don't feel so good today, but hopefully I feel better by tonight. Sarah Wax is out of town, I believe, but maybe I'll hit up Michele and see where she's headed to.

I think I need to go out, but I also think that I need to find things to do that don't involve the whole "Getting Wasted!" thing. I've realized that this probably isn't my "thang".

Also, I've been trying to think up ideas for Submissions to the Commonwealth Times. Their Opinion Section is kind of lacking, which means there's a good chance for publishing. Maybe I'll do that today too.

The Way I See It # 379

My Apartment/Building smells strongly of Methane.


I've decided to leave the premises for the day until my Landlord gets back to me.



Oh, and if you look down near the bottom of the page, I've added a ticker to see how many people are visiting this blog. I'm surprised! I thought maybe 5 people read it, and there might be a little over that in random passersby.

The Way I See It # 378

I AM ADDICTED TO "MISSED CONNECTIONS"

I've been here more than hour scanning them, wondering if any are about me.


Is that weird?

The Way I See It # 377

I've discovered Craiglist's "Missed Connections" section, and I can't stop reading.

One of them, I know who they're talking about, hahaha
http://richmond.craigslist.org/mis/864158671.html

The Way I See It # 376

I've been waiting for hours for a class that has been just canceled. Oh well, maybe I'll perpetually be in a state of waiting. Patience is my virtue. All I ever do is wait. "D' attente". Maybe everyone is waiting for something. I wish that I could project my thoughts as eloquently as Misha can. Her prose is something I always enjoy reading, while my posts seem scatter brained. I was sitting outside today after eating and I felt like I was waiting. I wasn't waiting for anyone in particular, and I didn't expect anything to happen. Maybe subconsciously I'm waiting for something.... I'm anxious in a way that I can't explain. I guess subconscious is the best way to describe it.

I've been trying to figure out my dreams. In all of my dreams there is food that is/becomes spoiled. Last time it was pizza bites with flies, once before it was a smashed jar of peanut butter, and so on, and so on. I've looked up dream interpretation online. My friend says that these sites cannot give an accurate description of the symbolism of dreams, obviously because dreams are undeniably your own creation and thus personal to yourself. But I don't know what to make of spoiled food.

"To dream of milk that is sour or impure, denotes small problems that will torment you and give you much distress."

"To see or eat pizza in your dream, represents abundance, choices, and variety. It may also indicate that you are lacking or feeling deprived of something."

Wonderful. I'm not sure if these dreams represent something bad. In the dream, the spoiled food is simply annoying. I don't find myself really upset over the fact that I couldn't eat this, or that this particular food went bad. It seems to me like a reoccuring annoyance.

The Way I See # 375

My back/wrist hurt from drawing all night.

The Way I See It # 374

I already wrote tonight, but I am restless and up. I'm depressed. I'm alone, in my room. Usually being alone/the only one awake at night makes me feel comfortable and inspired. Now it only forces me to think, and that's the last thing I want to do. I thought being home would be comforting. But Friday I was alone all day, today I went to Tysons, but something felt different. I was alone when I went, and even when Mom and Kara joined me I felt like it just wasn't the same. Naturally being home by myself doesn't feel the same either. I thought the peace would calm me, but it's only left me uneasy, and I feel anxious to get back to Richmond. I don't want to feel like that. I guess I'm worried about a lot of stuff. I always have shit in the back of my head.

I'm getting emotions and feelings that I haven't had in... years. I don't want them. I want them to get out of my head and I want to be left alone. I hate....


I hate everything in this moment.

Maybe if I wait my perspective will change.

The Way I See It # 373

For the moment I'm letting sound waves alter my brain waves. It seems that without sound, I can't function right now. Normally I enjoy the silence, but right now I can't seem to stand it.

Today was a good day. Purchased some needed things, walked around Tysons, and went out to dinner for my Dad's birthday. I still have laundry to do and I need to buy some necessities for the apartment. I think I'll end up doing that last minute tomorrow.

I feel an uneasiness that I don't want to experience. I'm hoping that music will replace my emotions with alternative ones for the time being, that way I won't have to focus for a while.

The Way I See It # 372

Fresh Beats I'm Currently Addicted To:

1. Crips- Ratatat
2. Neighborhood- Aiden Hawken
3. Acid Tongue- Jenny Lewis
4. Dr. C- Alias and Tarsier
5. Oslo In The Summertime- Of Montreal
6. Save Yourself- The Colour
7. Signs of Life- Every Move A Picture

The Way I See It # 371

So I'm home, and while it's nice to be here, it's not as relaxing as I thought it would be. I did all my homework today while enjoying the weather outside. That was nice. I did run in to people I know, and I did go somewhere that I have in Richmond, but seriously fuck that. I was sitting outside in the middle of Vienna, and if that's not "Going Home" then what is?

I took a shower this morning, and I realized that my hair looks much better up here in Nova. Also everything in my house is immaculately clean because none of the girls live at home anymore. My bathroom was untouched and pristine, and so was my room. It was creepy, but comforting at the same time. Tomorrow I'm going to Tysons to do some much needed retail therapy. I need a new coat like crazy, so that's my mission for the day. Then tomorrow night we're celebrating Dad's birthday and going out to Dinner. That will be nice, I think.

Now I might cuddle in my Mom's room and eat ice cream out of a coffee mug.

The Way I See It #370

BORED BORED BORED.

I'm going home! Yay! I'm so excited!

I need to work on my French group project, and I need to start thinking about my physics project proposal. I really need to think about that.

But I'm going home and avoiding it instead! YES. Besides, what does physics have to do with anthropology? Absolutely nothing. :)


Off to Linguistics I go, and then to see Weezy, and then back for 3 hours of urban planning! My weekend starts tomorrow at 3 PM.

The Way I See It # 369

I think I overstayed my welcome at a friends house last night..... Shit. It wasn't my intention. I just really like hanging out.

:/


I'll have to watch the clock more closely next time.



I had a dream about Julie Chappel, from high school. I dreamt that I had.... a copy of a book or a magazine... and she really liked it. She asked if it belonged to someone else in the room, and if she could have it, and that person said no, it wasn't theirs. I said it was mine, and she went nuts about this book/magazine. I think she asked if she could have it, or I thought that's what she was asking because I said, "Well, I mean, it belongs to me." Then she was really angry and gave me a really nasty look. Then we all made Pizza bites, but bugs got into them.... typical.

Weird. I never dream.

The Way I See It # 368

I went out last night and had a pretty good time! While some of it was awkward and weird, other times were a lot of fun, especially when Thumper was being played. :)

I'm glad I'm going out, I'm meeting people, and someone even payed me a compliment that was very flattering. :) I'll have to get to know that person a bit better, they seem really nice.

Today was spent doing nothing/a lot. I made a to-do list, and the only thing I haven't done is my Linguistics reading, it's so long! I bought "Persepolis" which is a graphic novel about a girl growing up in Revolutionary Iran, so I'm amped to read it. It was actually made into a movie that I wanted to see a while back, maybe I'll rent it. I think it's all in French.

I went to Chili's with Michele tonight which was fun. It's nice because they use dining dollars there, so no pain on the wallet! We had fun, and I like going out to dinner with her. She likes the dining experience.

But Dexter is on tonight! I HAVE TO WATCH. I am crazy about this show. it's great.

The Way I See It # 367

Il est nécessaire de souffrir pour être heureux dans la vie. Je devine que je crois ceci maintenant. Que est-ce que je fais? Je ne veux pas substituer cette tache froide, je pas , et je pas . Je pense que je comprends ce qu'il a dit au sujet de l'hantise. Remplir vide est quelque chose que chacun a la inclination de faire, mais je refuse de tomber dans ce piège. Je me demande ce qu'ils disent quand je suis parti? Les mêmes choses qu'ils disent au sujet de lui? Je commence à apprendre quelque chose de nouveau au sujet de quelqu'un, quand je devrais me concentrer sur me. Le problème est, est que je sais qui je suis. Que est-ce que je fais avec toute cette fois pour l'âme-recherche, quand j'ai déjà effectué le travail?

Je n'ai jamais pensé que nous conviendrions sur n'importe quoi, mais nous convenons sur beaucoup de choses. Ceci me donne l'espoir que pendant un jour je pourrais trouver quelqu'un qui me comprend vraiment, peut-être davantage que vous .

J'espère que vous trouvez ce que vous recherchez parce que je ne reviens pas à vous.

The Way I See It # 366

I woke up really late this morning, by accident. My alarms went off, but I think I woke up and shut the off. I didn't even hear the text message from my friend Sarah canceling on me for lunch. Good thing, since we had planned lunch for 12:50, and I woke up officially at 1:30. What's gotten into me? I guess staying up until 4 in the morning the other night didn't help my sleep schedule.

I'm up now, and I don't know what to do. I need to eat, but I feel too weird right now to call anyone and go to lunch, and then be weird in front of them. So I think I'll eat here, and then I have to get out of this apartment. I can't stay here. I am going crazy, like I said. Even thought the humidty today is a straight-hair-obliterating 98%, I need to leave and go somewhere else. No doubt I'll be in the library. I think I might work on my Look Book some more, so I should bring some magazine and such.

I have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I think it's uneasiness.

The Way I See It # 365

I just realized that I have a lab period tomorrow, so I don't need to get up early(ish). Plus, I already did my lab assignment, AND the Quia that's due tomorrow night.

I'm all clean now, my hair is better shape. I only tell you all this because I know you really want to know.

Night time is the worst. I think it will be for a while.
But I'm ok.

The Way I See It # 364

While most days I enjoy being in the library, today is very different. Because of the lousy weather I'm guessing that everyone has decided to come to the library and hang out until the clouds clear out. This being the case, there are hordes of people hovering around the computer section waiting for an open chair, myself being one of them just a few minutes ago. It makes me feel anxious to see someone staring at me, seeing that I am not exactly doing something scholarly and then hovering for 10 minutes.

I just ate Subway and now I am entirely too full to be comfortable in that respect, and I have about 2 hours until my Art History class that I need to kill. So here I am, at the library, hiding from the rain.

the rain and wind have whipped my hair into something most unfashionable, and I can't wait until the day is over and I can relax in my apartment and just chill out, since tomorrow is Friday! YES.

I can't believe this week is almost/already over. This is great. I feel better.

last night started off pretty bad, but I have to say that it ended well. I'm glad I have someone I can relate to, and I'm glad I can talk to someone about stuff, and they'll just listen.


Things are good for being so bad.

The Way I See It # 364

I am going crazy.

I left French this morning and rushed to my Physics lab, only my teacher wasn't there, I didn't recognize anyone, and I was very confused. PHYSICS IS TOMORROW. What's wrong with me? I felt completely embarrassed, and left in a rush. Then I couldn't remember what classes I had today, so I ran to the library and checked on the computer. Linguistics and Urban Planning. I'm going crazy. I know why I am, but I can't believe I really thought I had physics.



UGH.

The Way I See It # 363

Books I'd Like To Read:

On The Road- Jack Kerouac
Slaughterhouse-Five- Kurt Vonnegut



If anyone has a copy, pass it my way!

The Way I See It # 362

Study Abroad options:

Places I'm Considering:

Morocco
Egypt
India
France
Scotland
Italy


So many choices! I'm getting excited about it!

The Way I See It # 361

Blast off! Up to the stars we go!



Today I went to the bookstore and bought glue, scissors, a sketch book, and the latest issue of Elle Decor. Im excited. The last time I made a look-book was when I was doing technical theatre. I might use it as a field-notebook of sorts, and write down my observations throughout the day. I did a lot of listening/watching today. It was nice, I used to do it more often. I'm excited About the look book.



SO tired.

I just blew a fuse while blow-drying my hair, and I had to go fix it. it's a pain in the ass because the breaker is behind the dryer in the laundry room. Ugh.

Im exhausted!!

Watched Heroes tonight with Sidney, and it was a lot of fun, but a little bit confusing. I think it will get better as it goes on. :)

The Way I See It # 360

Currently Listening To: "Originality"- Thievery Corporation featuring Sister Nancy

I think I've got the whole "waking up" thing down. I wake up at 8AM to take my meds, go back to sleep until 9:30 AM, and then I hit snooze and sleep for five minute increments until 10 o' clock. Some would say "Why don't you just sleep in until 10?" and I would say to that, that it would be hard for me to do that. I would waste time trying to get up, and have to rush out the door every morning. I have to leave in about five minutes right now, but this is 5 minutes I have to do whatever I want. Some would eat, other sleep, I guess I blog. I have french, and then physics this morning, and I get out officially at 12pm. Then I have roughly 4 hours until linguistics. I'll probably go to the library and finish my reading for the class. Also Sarah needs my notes, so I'll be letting her look at those too.


I guess homework for tonight consists of falling asleep to my urban planning book. :P

The Way I See It # 359

Currently listening to: "El Scorcho" by Weezer.


I forgot how much I love Weezer. My older sister Jackie was a fanatic, and so of course, being her younger sister, I became a fanatic. I love the old songs. I miss riding in the car listening to them. I think I'll be posting the music I'm listening to when I write, because I think that music really affect the way I write, and maybe the way other people write. Maybe you'll be able to sense a change in my moods based on the music I'm listening to. HEY. I'll make it better. If I can find a link to the MP3, I'll add it so you can listen while you read. Interactive blogging? What WHAT?

Currently Listening to: "Originality" by Thievery Corporation featuring Sister Nancy.

I woke up hella late this morning. I slept over at Sid's, and since I didn't have my contact case I decided to put my contacts into 2 Solo cups in the bathroom. I woke up this morning and went to put them in, but only one cup was on the edge of the sink. The other was in the trash. I'm guessing that Brendan drunkly drank one. So I had to walk home blind (good thing Sid walked me back), and get my glasses. After that, and after Shafer I went to Michele's to watch the video we made at the party last night, and it was hilarious. Great gift Idea for Sarah!

I spent no time cleaning my apartment like I kept telling myself to do all week. I have little projects to tackle, and I'm starting to feel like a Dad, in that I'm not doing anything on the weekend related to home improvement. I'll get to it, eventually. Or when I get tired of hiding behind one curtain in my bathroom when I want to shower.

I spent a lot of time planning on going to the library to do French, Physics, and Linguistics. I ended up doing most of that homework at my apartment before I left. I like to let my mind wander at the library, so I didn't want to waste time on actual work. So backwards. But I eventually went and got a cozy seat next to the window. I read physics and almost fell asleep (embarrassing in front of my fellow regulars!)

But then my friend John showed up and everything was much more interesting! It was really great talking to him. We talked about all kinds of stuff, mutual friends, art, school, janx, music, everything. I had a lot of fun.

and now I'm up late. I wish I had a bike.

I wish I could go riding down the middle of the street with my arms up over my head.