I'm back in the library, and it feels so nostalgic, I have to admit. Like the blogger I am, I have Starbucks in hand, and am feeling thoughtful. If I can remember, there was always something about Cabell that made me feel insightful, studious, and even a bit inventive. Maybe that's the academic that I know I am.... maybe I just belong in an institution such as this. I just got out of my Linguistics class, and ducked out of the rain for a bit before my Urban Planning course at 7:00. For linguistics homework I had a reading about the sexual bias in language- importantly on Neutral pronouns that aren't. it discussed the common usage of "he", "his", and "man" as neutral pronouns, used to indicate a neutral party. By using these words people are more likely to think of men, rather than women, and it is a sexual bias to use such pronouns instead of ones that are actually nuetral, such as "s/he", "he or she", and "they". I really enjoyed reading the article, but when I got to class today I was disappointed by the class discussion. People either seemed to relish coming off as "intellectual" by second guessing our professor's points, or they sat confused and contested whether or not his points were really making sense to anyone. Well, they were! I got everything fine, and so did a few people, but the ones who spoke the most only made our professor confused, and he appeared to be a complete push over. The class discussion quickly was out of his hands and there were so many tangents, even I couldn't keep up. I hope our next discussion isn't anything like that, I was so frustrated.
I went down to the Commonwealth Times to see if I could nab a spot as a staff writer. Turns out they never got my application, and they aren't hiring at the moment because they don't know their budget. Anyway, the Opinion editor said that I could send in articles that I write, but that she couldn't guarantee that they would run. The only requirement for the articles that I send in is that it has to be factual, and I just can't make up things to write about. It wasn't the visit I was hoping for. I hoping to have an interview with the editor in chief, talk about my experience as a writer, tell him what I was hoping to write about, and see where it went from there. Now all I can do is hope I can catch "Greg" who runs the whole place and see if he will hire me onto the staff, or send in opinion articles and see if they get published.
maybe one thing I would really like to do would be to write a blog about VCU. Maybe not just about me personally, but where people go, post pictures of parties, review restaurants close by, do articles about student activities, the Art community.
There was always that possibility for a "sister-blog" at VCU for the blog my sister Christina wants to start up.... I wonder if she's done anything with that...
I'm thinking about getting a sandwich from Starbucks, as I don't want to go to Shafer because of the rain. That's kind of silly, but Starbucks sandwiches are actually kind of tasty. By the time I get out of Urban Planning it wil be 10, and all I'm going to want to do is go home and do my paper about scientists and such for physics..... which, actually, i could be doing now.
Maybe the reason why I can't seem to find a club that interests me is because not a lot of people here are involved in them. Out of all my friends here, very few are a part of an organization/club, and the few that are did it in high school and such. I never did anything in high school, except Drama, but in college you can't just do drama without majoring in it, at least not at VCU. I'm not into sports, and the multicultural clubs on campus I don't think I fit into. My mom says I should look into rushing a sorority, but I don't know. I guess that's something I can do. I don't even know what I want to do. I want to meet people, I want to do fun things. Last night I had a freak out because this whole becoming independent thing is harder than I thought it would be. I knew it would be hard, but it just really sucks. I went to Shafer to see if Sid was there, but when I got there he and Evan were already done eating, so I just felt so completely.....not alone.... just very unfortunate. It's sad that I depend on my boyfriend to eat with me, that I can't find someone else to eat with. Every once in a while I reflect on my troubles making friends, my dependence on my boyfriend, and not belonging to something, and I freak out. sometimes it just gets to be too hard to deal with. So last night I did.
I'll be fine. I'm adjusting. Growing pains. I need to work on this. Because it will be a long three years here to deal with feeling like this.
My physics class is HUGE! There are over 200 people, and I don't think I've had a class yet that was so enormous. But I talked with some people, so +5 experience points for Lisa! I have a couple hours until my Linguistics class (eek!) so Im going to the VA book company to buy computer paper, and a ink cartridge while I wait for my Office episode to load.
I went to Ikea today with Michele, and it was a lot of fun. We went to Waffle house, which isn't fun. I had a good time, but I just don't like being at Waffle House. I don't see the charm. I see dirty tables, limp waffles, forgotten bacon, and flies..... so many flies. I'll do my best to stay away from there from now on.
I'm fitting gym time into my calendar since I want to rape this whole running routine. Yeah, I said rape. So I'm a broken record, I've said this all before... I want to get in shape, be athletic, blah blah blah whatever, you know what I'm saying.
to buy at the book store: printer paper HP 74 inkjet cartridge black books for URSP and LING (when they are announced)
j'ai la classe du Francaise, le classe du physique, et Linguistique demain. Je dois Dormir!
special birthday shout out to Misha! Happy birthday girl!
I've been in a weird mood since I left Shafer. I thought that getting cleaned up and showering would help, but I think it only made it worse. Maybe cleaning up the apartment would make things better? I'm going to take a break from this and clean.
I just slept for 2 hours. This is probably because I got up at 8 to go to the pool at 9, which didn't open until 11, so I went at 12, and then realized that it is closed until September 5th. Anyway, French was good because I don't have class on Fridays!!! All I have to do is make it to the lab sometime that day, and I'm good! I'm excited about this, and I forgot that my lab period was Friday last year as well. My empty book shelf is filling up nicely.... well... slowly. maybe I should buy books by the yard so that I can look scholarly. What would be kick-ass would be to have an entire wall, including a door frame, filled with books. For such bookshelf I could purchase a rolling ladder so that I could spend my days, maybe not reading the books, but zooming away on the ladder.
I have to go over to Sids now. we're going to watch The Brave Little Toaster!
So I forgot to talk about my first day. Well, about Art History. When I went I found out that Ashley is in my class, and Sara was there too. I like Sara a lot, but I realized sitting with them that I'm happy to have left that group of people. We just aren't the same. I never especially liked Ashley. She always says the wrong thing. We were talking about their friend Erica, and I said that I had seen her and thought that her hair was very blonde (she has dyed it since last year, when it was aburn/brown). I didn't mean it in a nasty way, it's just different. But when I went with them back to Sara's apartment, I said to Erica that I liked her hair, and it looked nice, Ashley said, "Yeah, we were talking and she was like, 'Her hair is SO blonde! But it's funny because you don't think it's blonde at all". So she made me look judgemental and stuck up. Whatever, I don't plan on sitting next to her in class... or giving her my notes like she managed to weasle from Sara..... she will survive. She's only taking it this year because she failed last year. ANyway, I'm glad to moving on to new people, and living on my own!
As for the class itself, it looks like it's going to be really cool. Everyone always complains about Art history, but I think it's going to be really interesting. Probs because he said it was going to be half archeology and half art history.... so that's awesome.
while in class a girl said she liked my Tattoo. I told her it was fake and that I was just trying it out, and she said it looked really cool and that I should get it.
Michele and I went to Franklin St. Gym and it turns out the pool doesn't open until 11. I'm okay with that because I was worried about being ready for class, but we're going at 12:30 now, so it's going to be good! I've turned on Spike TV, which is always running a James Bond marathon. I'm guessing the movie I'm watching is "For Your Eyes Only". Aren't the intros to James Bond movies ridiculous? Naked women swimming in silhouettes, acid-trip colors, guns, oo7 himself.... I love James Bond movies. This one is great. I only remember bits and pieces of it, but in "For Your Eyes Only" a british spy ship, posing as a fishing boat, takes in a large haul..... except it's a mine... so the ship explodes and sensitive information is at stake.
I'm up right now. I shouldn't be. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been thinking about a lot of stuff I guess. Do you ever just have your mind race, and you feel very overwhelmed for about 15 minutes, and then you move on with your life? You push all the things you were worried about into a box in the back of your head so you don't have to real with it? Sometimes I wish I could just suck my thoughts out and put them into jars on a shelf. When I'm prepared and mentally ready to face one problem, I just pull it down from the shelf and get shit done. Knowing me, however, if any of that was actually possible I'd procrastinate until the day I died. Maybe thoughts could be passes through wills.... if that was the case. leaving your family with the burden of you thoughts, stored one by one, throughout your life time. Would it be a blessing, or a curse? To know what your loved one was plagued with their entire life. Maybe all the thoughts wouldn't be bad, but if they weren't, why would the be on the shelf? Maybe it would answer questions about their lives that no one could really understand when they were living. Maybe bottling up your deepest thoughts would provide comfort in that sense.
But for now bottling up thoughts doesn't get you anywhere, but confused and irritated with yourself.
I'm swimming laps with Michele tomorrow morning at 9. I don't know why I agreed to do this. I can't swim properly. I never learned how to do freestyle correctly. All I can do is doggie paddle and tread water. Maybe I'll practice treading water all morning. She manages a pool, so she must know a thing or two. I hope I don't look like a fool.
I had an awesome night tonight. I didn't go out, but I was hanging out with Michele and Sarah, and it was fucking awesome. I'm so glad Sarah and I have a class together this year because she's awesome. Michele and Sarah told me that we all have to go out together because we, unlike all the other girls at VCU, aren't single and would like to party with "taken" ladies. I'm really excited about this. I hope I'm not too excited, but something tells me this is going to be great. I didn't go to Ebbie's house warming party because I felt it was more important to hang out with Michele and Sarah. If Ebbie reads this, and is offended even though I don't think she will be, sorry, but I'm trying to make new friends, and I can't be blamed for that.
I was kind of bummed last night because Sid and I didn't hang out, and if I was off today, it's because of that. My adjustment to being independent is probably going to make me a little moody, but I'm sorry for any addition mood problems I seem to have. I'm not unhappy, I love you, but I'm working things out to make my life here at VCU even better.
I'm excited for French tomorrow. I only have two classes tomorrow because Physics starts tomorrow. So I have French from 11-11:50, and then Art History from 5:30-6:45!
Since i have a big break, I might go to the gym, or walk around looking at all the Freshmen scramble.
I put a request to join a community/webring/thingy where my blog can be found on the internet. The cite is a student blogging web community, where they categorize blogs by University, and list them in a directory. There are 4 other VCU blogs listed, and so hopefully I'll be one of them!
In other news, I went to Belle Isle today with Sid, Brendan, T-Cal, Kate, her roommate Jenna, Nathan and John, and "Dwight". I had a lot of fun, and it was such a beautiful day. It was totally awesome and I'm so glad I enjoyed myself. Last night Sid and I went to Max's house for a AEPi party and I had a lot of fun. I'm getting to know all of those guys one on one, so now I don't feel like I'm just "Sid's girlfriend". It was really cool.
I haven't purchased books yet and it's making me nervous. I don't know why, I have a lot of time, I could even put it off until after my first classes. I'm nervous because I have to ask Dad to reimburse me. I think I'll write him an email now. Also: I'M A HUGE IDIOT BECAUSE I SOLD MY FRENCH BOOK, NOT REALIZING I WOULD BE USING THE EXACT SAME BOOK THIS YEAR.
I can't believe I did that. I cannot believe I did that. Jesus Christ, I felt so stupid when I looked up my books online. UGH. That's my project for tomorrow.
I saw Sara, my roommate from last year today, and I was really happy to see her. I wasn't really happy to see that she was still drunk from last night. Oh well, she's a silly girl. She's supposed to come over sometime to see my place, but bleck, if she doesn't it's whatever, I'm sure she's partying somewhere cool tonight.
I think I should get a job, but I have to wait a couple months to see how classes go. it would be nice to get a job at RUMORS, the clothing store on Harrison, but I doubt if they would hire me. I'll spy around a bit and see what's available.
I've decided to blog, I don't know why. I can't wait until more people I know come into Richmond. I already know a lot of people here, but a lot of the girls that I really made friends with aren't. I like all the guys from the 15th floor, but if I continue to join them, I'll never branch out. Plus I can't rely on Sid to include me in everything, because he shouldn't have to do that. If I lean on Sid to help me make friends things are only going to end badly like they did last semester, so I'm decidedly not going to toe that line. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like everyone changes when they get back to school, and I'm already feeling it. Maybe I need a change too. I need to be self-sufficient, I need to be independent, as afraid of that as I am. I feel like I need to kind of live my own life. I need to make decision based on what I want, and not based on what other people might need. I have a problem doing that. I need to fix this. As hurtful as it is, I can't expect people to always be there for me, and I need to accept that and move on.
I put in my application for the CT today, hopefully to direct me forward to my new independence. My own activities, my own schedule, and I can fit everyone into that. I need me-time, even if I'm not going to like it. One of my big goals for this year is to have fun. I can't sit in my apartment all night and not go out. I need to do things, I need to be the 19-year-old I am and have a great time. I'm going to make friends with all kinds of people, and I'm not going to cling to Sid for social interaction. I need to kind of blaze my own path, and it's going to be really, really hard, but it's something I need to do.
I've been thinking a lot about Tattoos lately. I've always been really interested in them, and I almost wrote my English 200 paper about the cultural phenomenon. So I've also really wanted to get one. I wanted to in High School, but blah de blah I was in high school and too young, and I didn't know if it was something I really wanted to do. Let's just say that moving to Richmond has made me appreciate Tattoo art, and has rekindled me urge for a mark of my own. If I've ever talked about the subject with you, then you know that I've always wanted the Eye of Horus, representing the battle between Horus and Seth (two brothers of Isis and Osiris). Horus lost his eye in the battle, but the God Thoth was able to restore it. The eye represents the moon because of it's loss and reappearance. I've always loved Ancient Egypt, and it's something I want to study when I pursue my Graduate degree, and such, so I've always thought that was the prefect tattoo for me. Unfortunately a girl I know hot the exact tattoo I wanted. But whatever, who says I can't get it some day.
Last year, when I was in Temple, I saw a guy come out of a lecture with a double Helix wrapped around his forearm, a girl in my Stat lecture had an outline of the Richmond skyline with the words "RVA" stamped on the back of her neck.... All of these tattoos are so cool!
I don't know, I've just been thinking about it for a while, and I would really like one.
today at the Welcome Week festivities in Monroe Park, I got an airbrushed tattoo!
i personally love it. but my mom, after reading this off my computer before I could "publish" it, absolutely refuses to let me get one. But let's be honest, she can't really stop me. The only drawbacks I have are losing her respect/trust, etc. But I think it's fab, and so do my sisters!
I'm thinking I want a baseball bat under my bed. Either tonight after Brendan and Sid left I heard noises outside my window, and it freaked me out. tonight is my first night sleeping alone in Richmond, so it's no wonder why I'm up so late. I'll eventually get used to it, but for now I guess I'll sleep with one eye open. Brendan saw my place tonight and said something interesting. He said that my apartment was full of things I need, and that he couldn't see anything used for something frivolous, like games, posters, etc. After he and Sid left I thought maybe I was a boring individual. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I take great pleasure in picking out furniture, and arranging it the way I want. I guess lights used for tasks, and carpets on the floors are my frivolous expenditures, even if they are really "needs" rather than "wants." I remember that Sid used to comment on my love-affair with Ikea by relating it to the views given in the book/movie "Fight Club", in which Tyler Durden remarks that we are so driven by material possessions that we become as insignificant and meaningless as the objects we buy. Chuck Palahniuk typically points out the ideal weaknesses of mankind in his books (at least in the three that I've read; Fight Club, Choke, and bits of Invisible Monsters); these weaknesses often include man's infatuation with the material and superficial. When Sid mentioned this during my rant about my affection for Ikea furniture I had to object. I don't see myself as obsess with material possessions. Humans by nature gravitate towards beauty, and if beauty can be expresses in the simple lines of my Ektorp arm chair, then why can't I have a small obsession with it? While humans shouldn't be scorned for acting humanly, I can imagine faults much more worse than devoting a love to furniture and interior design. If beauty is the vehicle of such materialism, then shouldn't those who prefer those that are beautiful rather than those that are ugly be more easily targeted for being materialistic and superficial?
So I've been in Richmond for three days and it's been an interesting transition. Luckily I've had Sid down here to share the experience, and the nights, but right now he's at his apartment and I'm here by myself. I've been cleaning, searching for my missing ottoman cover, which I'm pretty sure won't be recovered, and waiting for my mattress to arrive. It's frustrating looking through the window whenever I heard a large truck pass by. The apartment is coming together, furniture wise at least. My shower is frightening due to the rapid-like water pressure. But sacrifices are expected with such an old place. I love looking through my bay window, my shiny new clock, the futon looks great, and Sid's interior design eye helped me configure my desk area.
I wish I had a bigger tv, maybe I'll swap my 13" for the extra tv we have at home. Although, I don't know. A big problem I have is the type of outlets my apartment has. Most of my plugs are 2 pronged, so my surge protector, my mac charger, and other plugs I have will not work. I wonder if I can get an adapter. Maybe mom will bring me one when she comes up this Saturday.
I'm getting my paycheck mailed to the house, so I hope it comes before Saturday as well.
Since there aren't a lot of people here in Richmond Sid and I keep wondering what to do. So I think I'll make a list:
1. hookah 2. watch a movie 3. walk down Main 4. go to the public Library 5. picnic is Monroe Park 6. watch Michael Phelps win his 8th gold tonight at 8 pm!!
My lack of updates clearly indicates how busy I've been. My summer is at an end, My last day at work is from 6-11 tonight, I'm packing up all of my belongings, I've done so much laundry it's crazy, I still have more laundry to do.
I'm crazy about getting down to Charlottesville tomorrow to move Jackie's furniture to my place. I have a huge pimple on my nose that hurts like a bitch, and i have nothing to wear, since all of my clothes are packed (Harrumph).
but life is good. Sid is moving to Richmond today, so that's really exciting. He says it's his time to officially move out of his mother's house, and that's such a big step! I'm a little bit intimidated about living on my own in Richmond. I'll have the comfort of good friends, I'm sure, but at the end of the day, will I welcome the silence, or dread it? At any rate, time will tell, and this is just another chapter opening up in my biography, I guess.
I'm really going to enjoy making my apartment my own, as I have said, so I guess if nothing else occupies me, there's that going for me!
I finally sold my drum set. I'm so relieved, because $300 in my pocket makes me a bit more relaxed about everything. I'm supposed to go to Target and pick up a whole bunch of stuff today, and I need some extra cash. I saw the apartment yesterday and it's awesome. It's a bit more worn than I remember, but that should be expected because I was so excited when I first walked in. But I can just tell that my place is going to kick major ass. I already comes with a window AC AND my landlord is replacing my ceiling fan with a new one! I just need to invest in lighting because it can get dark as fuck in there, being that it's so small.
I'm really amped, and ready to get started with this move to Richmond.
Moving from the suburb of the Nation's Capital, to the former Confederate Capital of Richmond, VA, I am a student at Virginia Commonwealth University writing about the trials and tribulations of college life, and trying to get a grasp of "The Good Life".