I'm up right now. I shouldn't be. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been thinking about a lot of stuff I guess. Do you ever just have your mind race, and you feel very overwhelmed for about 15 minutes, and then you move on with your life? You push all the things you were worried about into a box in the back of your head so you don't have to real with it? Sometimes I wish I could just suck my thoughts out and put them into jars on a shelf. When I'm prepared and mentally ready to face one problem, I just pull it down from the shelf and get shit done. Knowing me, however, if any of that was actually possible I'd procrastinate until the day I died. Maybe thoughts could be passes through wills.... if that was the case. leaving your family with the burden of you thoughts, stored one by one, throughout your life time. Would it be a blessing, or a curse? To know what your loved one was plagued with their entire life. Maybe all the thoughts wouldn't be bad, but if they weren't, why would the be on the shelf? Maybe it would answer questions about their lives that no one could really understand when they were living. Maybe bottling up your deepest thoughts would provide comfort in that sense.
But for now bottling up thoughts doesn't get you anywhere, but confused and irritated with yourself.
I'm swimming laps with Michele tomorrow morning at 9. I don't know why I agreed to do this. I can't swim properly. I never learned how to do freestyle correctly. All I can do is doggie paddle and tread water. Maybe I'll practice treading water all morning. She manages a pool, so she must know a thing or two. I hope I don't look like a fool.
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