The Way I See It # 258: "Nothing Makes Us So Lonely As Our Secrets"- Dr. Paul Tournier

I often think about the secrets we all keep, the secret lives we all pursue and the repercussions of having a private life.

Another blog on this server is all about secrets: http://postsecret.blogspot.com. Like most people, I selfishly read the new entries every Sunday, and some of them always leave me startled, inspired, or upset. I think it's amazing that secrets can hold so much power.

Personally I like being a closed-book of sorts. While some may argue that writing in a blog for over a year isn't exactly "closed" of me, I still like to think I don't put everything on the table.
Whenever I try to make new friends and encounter new people I have to accept that they aren't going to share their secrets with me (nor mine with them) and that sometimes people manipulate their past to appear better in the present. Especially in new relationships this has to be considered, but someone once told me that to keep things from your partner is a good thing, and generally makes things smoother. Is that true? I don't think that keeping everything in the shadows is a good idea, but I can understand that some secrets are too painful to be exposed, and perhaps in time they will surface.

I feel inclined to write about lying. But the point should be made that while all lies are secrets, all secrets are not lies.
We all learned to lie at a young age. when I learned how it was to avoid hurting other's feelings, but the idea of making people believe me became a game in grade school and I began to lie about everything. I made up fantastic stories that I was sure everyone believed. It was empowering, as lies can sometimes be. I learned that lying wasn't right in 6th grade, when a teacher caught me in a lie, and that "slowed my roll". However lying set me off into different things in my life, some good, and some not so good. I turned to theater and acting in high school so I could flex my deceiving powers into something useful. While my acting isn't exceptional, the two things aren't exactly the same. I also learned that lying made relations with my Dad better. If he thought I had done something wrong, I would lie and say I agreed with what he was saying. While it was just to get out of the argument, it made my situation better, at however shameful some of you may think that is.

But as I have gotten older I've learned to appreciate the truth. I've learned how to talk honestly and openly with the people I love, and that whole bit about how you should keep things from people to save a relationship? Untrue. I guess this new chapter came a while ago, but I'd never really talked about it before.