The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning

This whole "ending a relationship because one person is leaving the country 2 months from now" and still having feelings for that person is kind of hard to deal with. During the day it's great because we still see each other and will continue to hang out, but at the end of the day.... it becomes very clear that we're...well... not together anymore. Things have evidently changed, and moreover, they have changed literally overnight. We don't hold hands while we walk anymore, we've swapped goodbye kisses for goodbye hugs, no more sleeping side by side..... and it all stopped with a hug and kiss at my front door.

We decided to end things because it was logical, but how far does that hold? The reasons are clear, once you put an expiration date on a relationship it's bound to go sour, so you might as well end things sooner rather than later.

I guess a logical approach to relationships never promised easy transitions.
It is strange ending a relationship when both parties still have feelings for each other....

Maybe you're the girl whose mother ambushes you at student health and demands to go into the exam room with you.

Maybe you're failing out of school.

Maybe you're having more days that are bad than are good.

Maybe you're struggling with addiction.

Maybe your family has fallen apart.

Maybe you have trouble making friends.

Maybe you've lost your job.

Maybe you feel isolated.

Maybe you're unsatisfied with your life.

Maybe you've deserted someone.

Maybe you're missed.

Maybe no one misses you.

Maybe you're tired.

Maybe you don't know what to do when you graduate.

Maybe you've realized you've been setting yourself up for your future life so long that you suddenly realize that you've been missing out on it the entire time.

And maybe you're sick.


but I'm here.

The Sorest of Times

I made a new studying mix, the only problem is that it includes just 10 songs. If anyone could recommend some great studying jams (No lyrics I can find myself singing to, please) that would be awessommme.

Abby fucking Leventhal visited me this weekend and we had a blast. I miss that girl like crazy.

stress with school has been completely overwhelming this week.
1. nails were nice, and now all completely bitten.
2. long nights.
3. taking it out on other people (sorry).
4. not hanging out with certain people (so sorry).


but today is the day to end all this stress from the weekend. I finished my archeology paper (ugh) and emailed it to my professor, and I have my french exam in half an hour. I hope I do well. The great thing about French exams is that I don't have class afterward like some classes I know (Modernism).

That modernism test was hard but better than I thought it would be.

I forget that even though I have some free time, that's doesn't mean that other people will.
bummer.

Before.and.After

CROOZ

Plans for a 21st birthday Cruise to the Caribbean are officially set! I think is going to be frightening to be traveling without my parents for the first time, but also awesome to spend much needed quality time with my sisters drankin' margarrrrritas and getting smiggedy in style. I've always had lame birthdays, so this is going to be awesome! I plan on taking a billion pictures and hopefully snuba-ing through a sunken shipwreck! (I am completely excited about this)

As for now, however, I'm in the library working on Grave analysis of some Monongahela sites. It's kind of boring, but also interesting. I can't complain, I would be in Modernism right now if my class wasn't canceled.

I'm officially applying for a scholarship for next semester! I've never done that before, but I think it's worth a shot. It's a scholarship offered just for Anthropology majors who have written archaeological/anthropological papers. I have a couple, so why not enter them? Who knows if I'll get it, but I'll have a pretty good recommendation under my belt if I apply.

Still thinking about applying for Internships at The Met, just not sure what department I want to apply for. I'm thinking Egyptian Art, obviously, but I have to choose a back up. Ancient Near Eastern? Be fully advised I don't plan on signing up for Modern Art, Jesus. They have a costume Institute, which would be fun, But I doubt I have any real skills that would apply. I think I'm probably going to choose Egyptian and Conservation.

So, 3 internships, 1 scholarship, and maybe an internship abroad. I just emailed a woman in charge of Education Abroad to see if she can hook me up with any advice about interning abroad. So many things up in the air!

This week is ridiculous, I can't even think about everything I have to do. I have an art history paper that I haven't even started and it's due Thursday! oh my goodness.

Tonight includes possibly thrifting with the boyfriend, salvaging my self-respect in French class/preparing for the exam, reading about Russian Constructivism, Outlining trends in these burials I'm looking at, and drafting out my paper on The Warka Vase and the destruction of the Baghdad Museum.


ugh I am freezing and need coffee.

Harrowweennn

Photo credits: Michele Lombardi

Happy Halloween/All Saints Day!/Day of The Dead/ All Souls Day/ Samhain/ETC ETC ETC

Best Halloween ever!

Because:
1. My costume came out perfectly, I loved it! Special thanks to Michele who cut my wig and bought the blood, John who gave me the syringe I needed, and Sid for the white shirt!
2. Didn't have to walk/bike in the rain
3. Chatted up with people I haven't seen in a while
4. kara had a blast and taught us all her signature dance move
5. So many great costumes at the party! Inspector Gadget, Tron, Barack Obama, Zombie Housewife, Ganesh's Dad....

Pictures coming soon!