The Way I See It # 407

So I wasn't feeling well today and I decided to take a nap this afternoon to sleep it off. I just woke up. Was I lazy, or is this a sign that I greatly needed sleep? I'm not sure.

However nice the sleeping was, I was unsettled by the dreams I had. Normally I'm not one to be really keen on violence, but lately my dreams have been incredibly violent, and in the dream I don't really care. I actually take part in the violence personally, and while things are happening, it's as though I can't feel the pain of what I'm being subjected to, and what I'm doing/experiencing. It's really strange. And the violence is ridiculous. It's not bombs, or guns.... people are using swords and sharp things to cut everyone else up. They're CUTTING people in half! People are getting slash, I'm being slashed, and yet I remain whole and pain-free. It's ridiculous.

From Dream Moods:
"Killing
To dream that you killed someone, forewarns that heavy stress may cause you to lose your temper and self-control. Identity the characteristics of the person that you have killed and ask yourself if you feel any rage towards this person in your waking life. You may be expressing some rage or hatred toward this person.

To dream that you have been killed, suggests that your actions are disconnected from your emotions.

This dream may also represent a part of you or your life that you wish would leave you alone and stop creating a nuisance. Killing may represent the killing off of old parts of yourself and old habits."

"Murder
To dream that you have committed a murder, indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and your former ways of thinking."

The Way I See It # 376

I've been waiting for hours for a class that has been just canceled. Oh well, maybe I'll perpetually be in a state of waiting. Patience is my virtue. All I ever do is wait. "D' attente". Maybe everyone is waiting for something. I wish that I could project my thoughts as eloquently as Misha can. Her prose is something I always enjoy reading, while my posts seem scatter brained. I was sitting outside today after eating and I felt like I was waiting. I wasn't waiting for anyone in particular, and I didn't expect anything to happen. Maybe subconsciously I'm waiting for something.... I'm anxious in a way that I can't explain. I guess subconscious is the best way to describe it.

I've been trying to figure out my dreams. In all of my dreams there is food that is/becomes spoiled. Last time it was pizza bites with flies, once before it was a smashed jar of peanut butter, and so on, and so on. I've looked up dream interpretation online. My friend says that these sites cannot give an accurate description of the symbolism of dreams, obviously because dreams are undeniably your own creation and thus personal to yourself. But I don't know what to make of spoiled food.

"To dream of milk that is sour or impure, denotes small problems that will torment you and give you much distress."

"To see or eat pizza in your dream, represents abundance, choices, and variety. It may also indicate that you are lacking or feeling deprived of something."

Wonderful. I'm not sure if these dreams represent something bad. In the dream, the spoiled food is simply annoying. I don't find myself really upset over the fact that I couldn't eat this, or that this particular food went bad. It seems to me like a reoccuring annoyance.

The Way I See It # 369

I think I overstayed my welcome at a friends house last night..... Shit. It wasn't my intention. I just really like hanging out.

:/


I'll have to watch the clock more closely next time.



I had a dream about Julie Chappel, from high school. I dreamt that I had.... a copy of a book or a magazine... and she really liked it. She asked if it belonged to someone else in the room, and if she could have it, and that person said no, it wasn't theirs. I said it was mine, and she went nuts about this book/magazine. I think she asked if she could have it, or I thought that's what she was asking because I said, "Well, I mean, it belongs to me." Then she was really angry and gave me a really nasty look. Then we all made Pizza bites, but bugs got into them.... typical.

Weird. I never dream.

The Way I See It # 356

Damn I'm posting like nobody's business!

I'm wired. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I only just finished my homework, or maybe it's because I'm a habitual nocturnal blogger. I said once, in a blog, that I enjoyed being awake while everyone else was asleep. I guess I liked the privacy. It's not the same anymore, however, living on my own like I am. My other blinds fell down the other night, so now I am completely exposed in my bathroom except for the sheer white draperies that hang in the windows. I need a solution like AOII needs members. hahahaha, oh wait.

Besides the blinds falling down, there have been some odd noises outside my windows late at night. It's been the third night in a row that I've woken up in the middle of the night from frightening visions of people breaking into my apartment, stealing my things.... and other terrifying experiences. I need to snap out of it.

Maybe that's why I'm wired.

More likely it is the alluring stacks of Study Abroad pamphlets laying next to my feet at the end of the bed. I have yet to pour over these books and contemplate where I'm going to be Traveling. I put down my address for a brochure about Study Abroad in Africa at the Study Abroad Fair today. It looked really good. England is looking good right now, and I'm thinking about something that ties in Art history, Anthropology, and French. I guess France would be a good choice. I can't imagine spending a whole semester in France. It would be terrifying, but exciting. Senegal and Morocco are my choices for studying both anthropology and French in Africa, but my options are open, although my wallet definitely isn't.

Speaking of money, I'm REALLY GLAD that I didn't invest in the stock market when I was going to. Jesus Christ. Not that I would have invested in Insurance firms, but who knows what Dad would have told me was a good idea. I wonder if he has (had) any stocks in Lehman Brothers or AIG....?

time to read more study abroad manuals and put off sleeping so that I totally regret it tomorrow in my 3 hour lab!