Peux-j'être honnête pour une minute?

I haven't been able to shake my feelings from this weekend.

Je suis perturbé.
J'ai hâte.
Je suis fatigué.
Je suis inquiété.
Je suis fragile.
Je suis inconfortable avec me.
Je suis irritable.
Je vais en toute probabilité claquer.
Je suis désolé.
Je n'appelle pas assez.
Je sur-analyse tout.
J'ai faim et je suis dérangé que j'ai faim.

Les choses sont bonnes, je suis sur-analyser encore.

Ce weekend devrait être amusant. Je ne sais pas pourquoi je suis soucié de lui. Ceci sera amusant. Ceci est que j'ai besoin de.

Je pense que je me rends compte, de nouveau, qui les amis que j'ai fait sont que je n'ai pas pensé ils étaient. Je suis effrayé cela, de nouveau, j'ai fait des jugements pauvres. Ce weekend me dérangeait. Je comprends que c'était une farce stupide pour dégonfler mes pneus, mais je devine je prends ce type de chose personnellement. J'essaie de ne pas tolérer de foutaise. Quelques gens ne comprennent pas cela, malheureusement.


I hate the fact that when I realize one problem, I make a habit of having all of my other insecurities compound on top of each other. Ceci est pourquoi je n'ai pas serré votre main quand vous avez serré ma main. J'étais serrer trop occupé mes déchirures loin.

Je n'étais pas le premier l'un s'endormir. J'ai été dérangé aussi pour me déplacer. Ce n'est pas votre défaut, vous ne pourriez pas voir que j'aie dérangé. C'était un nombre de choses que mon insécurité a éteint de proportion.

Je promets de serrer votre main la prochaine fois.

I wish I was wearing...

Urban Outfitters

Currently Loving: Old World Charm

Restoration Hardware

SILENCE.AND.NOISE.HOODED.DOLMAN.TUNIC
$42.00

Just looked at Seigle Center's line up of classes for this semester. Yoga, Tae kwon do, and possibly capoeira? New challenges await!

The Way I See It # 590

If I am at a party with friends, not drinking, I would really appreciate it if one of you straight-edge kids didn't TAKE THE AIR OUT OF MY BIKE TIRES. THANKS.

Goddammit. Who does this? I understand that those who are straight edge don't like people that drink, but I don't understand why you would specifically go to a party where people are drinking and flatten the tires of a random bike. MY tires. I wasn't even drinking! Totally unappreciated.

I also don't need people from my past haunting my present. That might sound harsh. Sorry, but I have a good thing going, and the last thing I need is for you to come around more often. I think I made this pretty clear.

I also came home to a cockroach. WHAT THE FUCK. I'm going to raise hell at Metro properties on Monday. The light in the bathroom also went out, and the fixture is impossible to figure out. the kitchen faucet still leaks, and the stove is about to blow up.

I am also completely broke until Tuesday. This makes me uncomfortable, and I'm not sure I am going to like paying for things that aren't my responsibility, which I have to so I am grateful for, when I can't be reimbursed right away. I realize that this sounds whiny and petulant. I should stick to the fact that I'm not "really" paying for the bills. I think what I'm made about is my situation with Dad. He infuriates me about everything.

bleck.

The Way I See It # 589

Still debating between bags, I'm afraid that I'll choose one and then immediately regret it! Still waiting for some money to roll in... I know I had a pay period end rather recently.... hmmm.

I've been getting emails from my students in the class I TA for already, and it is kinda crazy to be answering students' questions.

I can't wait to get back into yoga, I'm so pumped.

The Way I See It # 588

I've been thinking about getting a new bag for school, and as I'll be riding around more frequently, going to and from class, and also running around for work, I have decided that getting a bag suitable for biking is the way to go.

Chrome Citizen Messenger Bag
$140

Everyone and their mom seems to have one of Chrome's "Citizen" messenger bags, and while I must admit I was (and still am) smitten with Chrome's numerous color options, the truth is that I will be carrying way more this semester than I think has ever been required of me, and I am not too certain that I will be comfortable with a bag that hangs diagonally. Not only does Chrome offer an array of enticing colors, but their bags are also lifetime guaranteed and completely water proof.

They offer other styles of bags, such as the "Pawn" roll top backpack, which offers the same lifetime guarantee and waterproofing, but letting it sit squarely on your shoulders. Several of my friends have told me that these bags are wonderful to have, and are extremely durable. The roll top allows for expandability for larger documents and packages, which would be useful for my job making deliveries for VCU. I also like the shape and style of this bag, despite the lack of cool colors that Chrome makes available for its messenger bags.

Chrome "Pawn" Roll Top Backpack
$180

But I wanted to make sure I wasn't missing out on any other popular bag brands, so I researched some sites and found some other bags that I liked, and disliked for several reasons. Because I don't have access to most of the bags, as they are custom made and shipped out independently, I can't test them myself. So these reviews are rather preliminary.

Ortlieb "Velocity" roll top bag
$130

Ortleib gets rave reviews from several bike forums I looked at, and the bag that received the most praise was the "Velocity". I have to say a major reason why I like this bag so much is the color- it matches my bike perfectly. But practically, this bag is made of nylon fabric for water resistance. This bag is NOT water proof, but "splash resistant"; and it is "dust proof" described as impenetrable to dust. I don't think dust is a major concern in the Richmond area as much as rain water is. However, the "Velocity" has a slimmer shape than some of Ortleib's other bags, and has been reviewed as a better buy, and a safer buy, due to the fact it won't obstruct your vision when looking behind you. Personally, besides the color, I don't find the "Velocity" all that aesthetically pleasing, and over all a bit took bulky. I prefer Chrome's "Pawn" if only for the fact that its pockets help break up the strong lines, and give some shape to it. However, Ortleib's price is certainly sweetening the deal.

Freight Baggage Roll Top
($230*)

Freight Baggage is a retailer based out of San Francisco, CA and takes orders through email only. A ball park estimate of the bag pictured (size medium) is about $230, *but depending on the colors you want, and shipping, that is subject to change. These bags look more manageable in size (for my girlish figure) and have ample storage space, unlike Ortleib's "Velocity". Freight's bags are water proof and are almost completely customizable, however you don't have any clear pictures available on the site of what the colors look like. The customization is ideal for my situation, but the price tag and possible shipping costs from CA aren't.

Seal Line Urban Backpack
$109.95

Seal Line is offering a true bucket bag here. I imagine I could take all my laundry without struggling, and also pack for a train ride home quite comfortably. A guy in my Religious studies course had one of these bags and I had always wondered what brand it was. The only draw back I see is its bucket shape, but the color selection makes up for it. The material used is a PU-coated polyester with urethane detailing. From what I saw of the bag in person, and from this material's description, I can only imagine that this bag is ridiculously slippery when wet. I'm not sure how I would like that. However, the roll top provides the water proof seal, and the closure is simple and effective. The price isn't too shabby either.

Timbuk2 "Hemlock"
$100.00

Tibuk2, another popular brand among VCU students, just recently came out with the "Hemlock" bag, the first roll top in Timbuk2's line of messenger bags. A friend of mine has this bag, and it's.... in a word... really cute. I'm drawn to the orange, but being me, I can't bring myself to buy the same exact bag as someone else. I wish Timbuk2 would come out with a customizing feature for this model, or just some other colors! The bag looks great, the price is right, but it doesn't carry the lifetime guarantee like Chrome, or the waterproofing like Seal Line, Freight, and Chrome. And it seems like that is something I just gotta have.

Timbuk2 "Swig" Bag
$125*

Timbuk2's other new arrival is the "Swig". It isn't a roll top, but the colorful flap sure is nice. This bag is also customizable, so the price is subject to change*, but their color options include cool tones, warm tones, reflective materials for night riding, and also blank artist's canvas which opens up a bunch of creative options for you artsy types. I, for some reason, have my heart set on a roll top, but this bag is nice in its own right. And the price isn't sooo bad. Even if it doesn't have the water proofing or the lifetime guarantee.


So which will I choose? I think I'll wait until my next paycheck arrives to tackle that debate.

The Way I See It # 587

My sister Jaclyn has made a new blog!
She's currently baking her way through The 1979 Dekalb County Junior League Cookbook 'Puttin on the Peachtree'

If you enjoy desserts of all kinds, you can follow her exploits here

The Way I See It # 586

I'm going to take a cue from Lena, and start a list in order to rev up my posting. This may or may not be successful.

1. First day of classes at VCU today. For the most part today was a successful day. My french came tumbling back into my brain after a two month absence, and I managed to correctly answer several questions this morning, and report on my summer with ease. And to think that I, embarrassingly, couldn't recite the number 4 in french just a day ago....(quattre). Death and Burial sounds like it is going to be an interesting class, and my Prehistoric Art and Architecture class sounds like it is right up my alley. My professor worked in a museum (check), worked as an art dealer for Sotheby's in New York City (check), is a classical archaeologist (check), and studied art history at NYU (check). All the things that I want to do! I couldn't believe it, and basically spent the entire class with my mouth hanging open. I went up and introduced myself after class, and offered to help her with her new gallery opening at Plant Zero, which she said she would be needing interns for. Very exciting!

2. I think that everyone just needs to bite the bullet and get along.

3. I think that I need to get used to the idea that there are people that depend on me. This isn't a one man show anymore.

4. 5 months. The time is flying by!

5. I have heard that Gin and Tonics are where it's "at".

6. I need to get used to everything.

The Way I See It # 585: Wish List

White Weinmann DP18 Fixed Gear/Single Speed wheelset Machined Side Walls
$185.00

The Way I See It # 585

A lot has happened, but every time I have made the time to open up blogger on my browser, I'm suddenly overcome with a feeling of animosity. I don't feel like writing, probably because I have so much to write about. So much for blogging more....

The trip to Wise as a photography assistant was both exhausting and interesting. The lack of health care on a community is ridiculous. The number of people that were helped reached thousands, and We managed to get some great pictures of the event. By "we" I mean Allen Jones... you can check out the event and pictures here.

I over drafted on my bank card obscenely, and now I'm afraid I'm poor again.
I hate money. I wish it didn't exist. I wish it didn't control people, and I wish it didn't dictate my life and what I can do. I'm sick of money! However, when I do get more of it, I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune. What a love-hate relationship we have.

I just moved out of my victorian studio, and into a new two bedroom apartment a couple blocks away. The move was hard, but Zane helped out, which was phenomenal, and now I'm currently unpacking and reorganizing my life. I'm writing from Cabell Library because I won't have internet until the 10th...

But I am going to VA Beach on Tuesday and I'm excited to be totally relaxed with my book and a cold drink. I've decided to put an extra effort into my tan, because after getting some sun in Wise, I realize how healthy I look with a little more pigment in my skin. Cancer be damned!

So for now it is even more infrequent posting, and spending my time in a hot disorganized apartment until Tuesday morning.